MAD Academy
by MADproductions
Summary: Crack. AU. I Mira Hinder and Lane Render are writing this for amusement purposes only! No bashers allowed! Ed and Al, after being sent through the Gate, come out in this year and attend a gifted academy! EdOC AlOC
1. Chapter 1

_Lane: Ohemgee! 'Tis our first story on our new account_

_Mira: So of course it's a crack fic…_

_Lane: That is just so like us…_

_Mira: Yeah...let's get goin' so the story I can meet Ed! *grabs popcorn*_

_Ed: *sweatdrops*_

_Lane: Yeah, and story me can meet the adorable Alphonse Elric! *tada pose*_

_Al: *sweatdrop* Um…they don't own FMA…or me and Brother…_

_Ed: But they own the plot line… *shudders*_

_Lane & Mira: And ourselves!_

_

* * *

_

**MAD Academy**

**A Collaborative Project by:**

**Mira Hinder and Lane Render**

**A Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime**

Lane's POV

**Before School; At School**

"I'm so bored," I grumbled, typing angrily away on the laptop I was using. I decided that my OC Chihiro would not, in fact, forgive Kukai that easily. Poor Kukai, victim of my bad mood.

Mrs. Riley looked at me from her desk, "There's not much else I can do for you, sweetie," my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Riley, said, "Please don't take it out on the laptop."

Mrs. Riley is my ultra cool homeroom/English teacher (who calls everyone sweetie for some reason.) She's really short, which makes me like her more (I'm kinda short, but she's shorter than me with high heels on) and she's about 30. She takes pity on me when my dad brings me to school early (every day) and lets me into homeroom, where we keep our school-given laptops.

And our uber tiny school can afford them is because we go to a very rich school for uber-ly talented kids. Good at computers, good at reading, writing, math, science, or social studies, good at music, good at art, good at drama, good at dance, any of that stuff. No sports, though…ew. Only the Arts, general school stuff, and technology.

I looked up at her with what I imagine was an 'oh, I said that out loud?' look. "I don't mean right now…I just mean that nothing ever happens here. I live in the middle of freakin' nowhere," I muttered. 'But at least we got clam chowder,' I thought to myself.

"There's a new boy in our homeroom," she told me, completely calm, like it was nothing.

"WHA-!?" Definitely not nothing.

"His name is Alphonse Elric. He's going to be sitting between you and Mira," said once again like it was nothing.

I was very happy.

* * *

Al's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

I stood outside the room. "Brother, can we just leave?"

Ed laughed. "No Al. Go on, and just be glad Roy Mustang isn't your homeroom teacher. I swear, both of these worlds just hate me. I'll see you at lunch," he told me, walking down the hall.

"Yeah," I mumbled, walking into the room.

"Hello!" exclaimed a short, red haired woman brightly. "You must be Alphonse!"

"Just Al," I told her, her excitement making me nervous.

"Alright Al! You just sit between Lane and Mira," she told me, pointing towards a blonde girl with glasses and a girl with reddish brown hair who were whispering fervently to each other. They both looked up when I walked over, immediately dropping their conversation.

"Hey, you must be Al," said the blonde girl with a warm smile, "I'm Lane," she said, sticking her hand out. I shook it. "This 'tis Mira," she said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at the other girl.

"Great, enthusiastic way to introduce me Lane. Glad you love me so much," she said sarcastically. Then she smiled at me. "Yo!"

"Here, can I see your schedule?" Lane asked. I nodded and handed it to her. She started to explain it to me. "Alright, so we have a three day cycle. Today's a Day 3, so tomorrow will be a Day 1. Today you'll be following the periods in this column. Don't worry about the times, the teachers will just tell you when the period's over. Alright, you've got Science first, which is right next to my class, so I'll show you there. Then you've got Spanish with me, so just wait for me by the water fountain and I'll show you there. Then you've got Social Studies with Mira and our friend Wrath-"

Oh no…Wrath. That was going to be weird.

"Oh no, Wrath," Mira and Lane said in unison. Weird…

They both looked towards a very depressed looking boy sitting in a seat by the door with his head in his arms. He looked just like the Wrath from my world, minus Ed's arm and leg. Mira and Lane both ran over to him and flung their arms around him, squeezing him so tight I didn't know how he could possibly breathe. "We're sorry Wrath!" they both exclaimed.

"It's okay…you were just helping the new boy, right?" he said, smiling at me. Wow…it felt weird to think this about a boy (who was apparently my age…) but he was so cute. In a little kid kind of way. "My name's Wrath."

"Yup, our Wrath! He's so adorable!" Mira said.

"Umm, back to your schedule, right?" Lane said, recovering from whatever that was. "So, period four you come back to homeroom for English. Mira and Wrath will bring you here after Spanish, they need to pass by anyway." I looked at Mira and Wrath doubtfully, they were paying no attention. Mira was busy obsessing over Wrath… "Don't worry, they will. Everyone's locker is outside their homeroom. Your locker number…" her eyes scanned over my schedule "…15, next to Wrath's. You're combination is right there," she said, pointing at the number on the sheet.

"Uh…"

"Wrath will show you how to do it. You can drop of the books that the Science, Math, and Spanish teachers will give you. Then I'll help you with the rest of the schedule during English. "Kay," she said, smiling at me brightly.

"Wow, thanks," I said, speechless at how absolutely helpful she was being.

* * *

Ed's POV

**Math; Period 1**

I rushed out of homeroom at the sound of the bell. 'Dammit! It's like Mustang follows me everywhere!'

I quickly filed into Math class with a few other students in my grade. And another short blonde bespectacled girl who was shorter than me and looked about a year younger. They all took their seats and the teacher…my _Teacher_ Izumi Curtis…started the class by introducing me to the room of about ten students.

As I sat down behind the blonde girl, she turned to look at me, "So you're Alphonse's brother?" she smiled.

"Right," I held my hand out for her to shake, "Edward Elric."

"Lane Render," she shook my hand and said, "I'm in Al's homeroom."

"Then how are you in a Junior class?"

She laughed as if she got this question all the time, "This school is so small that being at an honors level means you are one grade ahead. And being at an AP level means you're two grades ahead. I'm an AP leveled Math-wiz…so here I am!"

"Render! Elric!"

We both jumped at the sound of our names, "Y-yes Mrs. Curtis?"

"Are you two going to pay attention to the lesson at all?"

"Y-yes Mrs. Curtis."

* * *

Mira's POV

**Science; Period 2**

Wrath and I sat in our seats for Science.

"So, Mira?" I looked over at Wrath, "Whatcha think of the new kid?"

"Al? He seems very nice. But he also has an older brother. I can't wait to meet him!"

Wrath peered up at me, then nodded with a sweet smile on his face.

"You're so cute!" I squealed, wrapping my arms around him.

"Alright, class," Mr. Mustang came in and closed the door, "Today, and for the remainder of this term, we'll be learning about the Reproductive System!"

"…" There was a moment of awkward silence in the classroom.

* * *

**Social Studies; Period 3**

Wrath and I waited at the door of Social Studies for Lane to bring Al by.

"Hey, Mira! Wrath!" both of us turned to see Envy walking towards us, completely ignoring Mustang's Science class.

"Hey Envy," I waved, happy to see him even though he was the biggest pervert on the face of the planet.

"Hey big bro!" Wrath jumped up and down and waved vigorously at Envy.

Envy ruffled Wrath's hair and made him stop jumping. I laughed as I looked over his shoulder to see Mustang coming over. He grabbed Envy by the ear and dragged him off to class muttering something to him about being to preoccupied with girls and not enough with school.

"Like you can talk, Pops," Envy chuckled as he was dragged, "You're worse than I am!"

I couldn't help but smile.

"What'd he do now?" Lane rolled her eyes as she walked up with Al.

"Ahhhh…nothing. You know Mustang's bound to think he did though," I giggled.

Lane suddenly whipped out her phone, "Haha! Yes!" she had a triumphant face on.

Al, Wrath, and I all tilted our heads to the same side and gave her the same "huh?" look.

She then proceeded to run full speed into her Science class.

* * *

Envy's POV

**Science; Period 3**

I sat in my seat and looked to my right. Sitting there was a guy with blonde hair and gold eyes. He was staring up at Mr. Mustang with a twitch in his eye.

"Hey," I leaned over and poked him in the arm. When he looked over I asked, "You that new kid? Edward Elric?"

He nodded, looking at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Good," I whipped out my phone and quickly texted Lane.

"What are you doing?" Ed inquired.

"My friend told me to watch for a new kid with 'uber-cool blonde hair'," I shut my phone.

"Your friend?" Ed twitched, "Would you be talking about Lane Render by any chance?"

As an answer, Lane sped over to us and jumped on my desk, "Hey Envy. Hey Ed."

* * *

Mira's POV

**Lunch; Period 6**

Wrath followed me into the Lunchroom. I peered around quickly and found Lane sitting at a table with Envy. She waved us down and we sat, but it seemed like we weren't the only ones being waved down.

Al and another older blonde boy came over with us and Wrath and the two of them sat before I could even think about sitting.

"Hm," Lane struck a thinking pose, "We may have an issue here…"

"Not entirely," I smiled kindly, lying, "I'm going to the library anyway."

Envy sighed, "Aw! Why, Babe?!" he teased.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, "I'm not doing so hot in Science and I need to pass to stay in Chorus…and Band…and Drama Club…and _Science_ Club!" I pantomimed pulling my hair out, "Argh! I've got to study!"

I missed the look that Envy and Lane shared. Their look of pure _evil_.

"Ed can help!" they pointed to the elder blonde boy.

"He's really good in Science!" Lane cheered, covering Ed's mouth.

"He _is_ in our class after all!" Envy pointed out, gesturing to himself in Lane.

Wrath and Al sweat dropped.

"Really?!" I jumped up and down, clutching my bag to my chest so it wouldn't hit anyone, "Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Thankyouthankyouthankyousoveryveryverymuch!!"

"I guess I can't say no to that…" Ed mumbled and smirked up at me. His golden eyes shined strangely in the light. He got up, "Here sit down," I sat and he dragged a chair over for himself.

* * *

Mira's POV

**Gym; Period 7**

Right as I was about to walk into the Girl's Locker Room, someone came up behind me and grabbed my ass, "Hey, babe."

"Cut it out, Envy!" I pushed him back, turning to see that Ed and Al were right behind him.

"Fine," he leaned in and pecked me on the cheek before turning and running across the hall to the Boy's Locker Room, "Later Babe!"

I flailed my arms in chibi form and yelled after him, "I'm gonna get you back for that later, Palm-Tree-Head!" I stormed into the Locker Room.

I greeted a few of my friends and twisted the combination into my locker. I took out the school-issued Gym clothes and stripped down. I pulled on my shirt with my back to the door. I always felt weird having the Gym locker closest to the door of the Locker Room…it was…_awkward_!

Right as I was about to pull on my shorts, the door busted open.

* * *

Ed's POV

Mira stormed into the Locker Room. Al and I made our way into the Locker Room across the hall.

Envy was laughing with a group of boys from our grade. He high-fived them and said, "She tastes like strawberries," he licked his lips to the amusement of the other boys.

I rolled my eyes as Al and I changed.

"Hey Elric," Al and I both turned to the sound of Envy's voice, "Ed, all of the guys in our grade that came to the school in the middle of the year had to go through…an _initiation_…"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

* * *

Mira's POV

As the door opened, I turned. A blonde streak ran in and hit me, causing us both to fall over. Whoever it was fell on top of me. All the girls in the Locker Room started yelling something about perverts.

Whoever it was had their head smashed on my…chest…area…

He lifted his head up and I saw those golden eyes.

"ED!?!?"

We both jumped up and I started whacking him with the first thing I grabbed…my Gym shorts.

"…Mira…hey…wait…" I pushed him so his back hit the door, dropping my shorts in the process.

"GET _OUT_! PEVERT!"

"Hold on!"

I paused for a fraction of a second and he flashed Envy's green camera st me and ran from the Locker Room.

There was a moment of silence from all of us girls.

I turned and growled, "Let's kill him…"

Evil agreeing laughter greeted me.

* * *

Envy's POV

I almost busted my sides when Elric walked over and handed me my camera, wiping blood off of his mouth, "What's the matter?" I chuckled, gesturing to the blood, "Girls hit hard?"

"No…they didn't even touch me…"

It took me a minute to realize what he meant. Then I laughed even harder.

"Brother, you pervert!" Al looked at his elder brother with a shocked expression.

"ENVY!" Mira, face as red as her hair, stomped up to us, "HAND! IT!! _OVER_!!!" her gaze was fixed on the camera, "_OR ELSE_!!!!"

I glanced at Ed and Al. Ed's face was redder that Mira's and Al was looking very afraid of the small girl in front of us. So…I decided someone had to say it. And I was the dummy who volunteered, "'Or else' what?" then I took it further and asked, "You and what army?"

She chuckled evilly and pulled out a baseball bat.

That wouldn't have been so bad…

But a swarm of angry girls mobbed behind her with rubber dodge balls in their hands. The rest of the guys in the Gym backed away from them. Ed, Al, and I stayed put.

"_This_ army," she lifted the bat like a sword and yelled, "CHARGE!!!!"

* * *

Mira's POV

'Ahhhh," I though, deleting the picture of me off of Envy's camera, 'Revenge is _sweet_!' I went over the pictures of Ed, Al, and Envy in just their boxers, 'And NAKED!'

"Call them off!"

I peered up to the basketball hoop. Sitting on the backboard were the Elric brothers, both only in their underwear. Sitting with his butt in the hoop itself was Envy, "Call them off!" he repeated, glancing down at the near-rabid mob of girls below him.

I pretended not to hear him, gazing up smugly and cocking an eyebrow.

"Fine!" he choked out the next words, "I-I'm…sorry."

I popped the sim card out of the camera, stuck it in my pocket, and waved my rabid girls off just as the Gym teacher, Ms. Hawkeye, walked in.

* * *

Needless to say, those boys got a good talking-to.

But…

Being a good girl, mostly because I was feeling slightly guilty, I saved them.

I'm such a wuss.

* * *

Lane's POV

**Afternoon Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

Wrath ran into homeroom, throwing his arms around me.

"Wrath, honey?" I said, looking down at him worriedly.

"I ran into the two new boys, Brother, and Mira in the hallway…Mira's being scary!" he cried, though it was muffled by my shoulder, which he was pressing his face into.

'Oh no,' I thought, 'what did Envy do. Worse, what did Envy make Ed –slash– Al do?

Al ran into homeroom, straight up to me. "She's not going to kill Ed, right?" he asked me, looking like he was seriously afraid she might.

"Oh no," I groaned.

"Shut up, Elric! I don't want to hear your crap!" Mira yelled, storming into homeroom.

"Mira, it's not my fault, I-"

Mira turned around a glared at him, the furious whipping around of her red hair adding an even more intimidating affect. I saw Ed flinch back. "Stop trying to feed me lies. I've known you for one day, and already, this!" She proceeded to slam the door in his face.

"Don't take it out on the door, Hun," Mrs. Riley said halfheartedly.

Mira stormed past us to grab her coat and bag. "Mira-" I started, but she cut me off.

"Shut up, big brother's coming to pick me up," she snapped at me.

I faintly heard an adorable voice in the background ask, "Mrs. Riley, can I go to big brother's homeroom?"

"Of course, Wrath sweetie."

"Mira, we've got Science Club today," I told her. "You're brother knows that."

"Right," she sighed, dropping into a seat. I sat in the seat next to her, waiting for her to say something. I saw Al out of the corner of my eye go up to Mrs. Riley, and I faintly heard him ask if he could also go to his brother's homeroom.

Mira didn't say anything, so I asked, "What happened, Mira?"

"That jackass! He-"

Envy's POV

**Afternoon Homeroom; Mr. Mustang's Homeroom**

I sat in my seat, right next to shortie.

He turned to glare at me with eyes that seemed to glow with fire…wow, that was good, why'd I fail English?

"This is your fault," he growled. I could almost see the flames.

"Whatever," I said shrugging it off. "I know what'll cheer you up, some good, old-fashioned rap!"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Old-fashioned rap? That's an oxymoron."

I pulled out my iPod, sticking an ear bud in my ear. "Dude, you can't use words like oxymoron with me. I have no clue what they mean." I offered him an ear bud. He sighed and took it.

I pressed play. _"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick."_

His face was priceless.

Al's POV

While Ed was making a pretty disgusted face, he also seemed extremely fascinated by whatever it was Envy was having him listen to. So Wrath and I just sat on our own.

We were both silent for a while.

Wrath's POV

I fidgeted around, trying to tell myself to just leave him alone. I finally couldn't take it any more. "So Al, what do you think of school here? Do like you're teachers? Do you like your classes? Are you finding your way around okay? Do you need any more help?" the words just kept flowing out, as I bounced up and down in my chair.

"Wrath," he said, gripping my shoulders, and forcing me down in my seat, "calm down."

"Write, sorry…I'm just really energetic," I said, smiling at him.

"I noticed that," he said, smiling back. "Well, the teachers here are nice, and you, Mira, and Lane are being really helpful. I like my classes, too."

"Hey, hey, hey! I have an idea! Why don't you stay for Science Club!?"

Al's POV

I opened my mouth to respond, but Wrath wasn't looking at me. "Hey Mr. Mustang, can Al stay for Science Club, too? And Ed too!" he added, looking back at my brother, who wasn't paying attention.

"Sure," Colonel…I mean _Mr. _Mustang answered, not really listening.

Lane's POV

**After School; Science Club**

She told me the whole story, complete with a big rant at the end.

"Mira, I realize that was very, very, very, asshole-ish, but he _is_ apologizing, and you know Envy and his friends can be very…_persuasive._ Plus, Ed doesn't seem like the type who _could_ back down anyway."

"I don't care," she huffed.

"Mira, Lane, you can go to your club now," Mrs. Riley told us, "All the buses are gone."

"C'mon, let's go!" I cheered, grabbing Mira's arm. I dragged her full speed to the Science room.

I dropped her arm, flung my arms out and yelled, "Roy!" before glomping said Science teacher.

He sighed, knowing too well that it would be impossible to get me off him. "You know, one day the principal is going to walk by, take this the wrong way, and fire me on the spot. And it will be all your fault when it happens."

I let go of him. "You're such a killjoy, Roy."

I scanned the room until I found my favorite palm tree. He was sitting listening to his iPod. I also saw Ed sitting next to him making a disgusted face, staring at the iPod.

I sighed, deciding to let Mira be grumpy on her own. I bounced over to the two boys. "Hi Ed! Hi Envy, baby!" I kissed Envy on the cheek and hugged him, whispering in his ear "Mira's mad… but I'm not gonna be part of this."

* * *

Mira's POV

Let me explain something about Mustang's "Science Club".

It's not a Science Club.

It's more like a Hang-Out-After-School Club because we didn't do anything but hang out with a teacher's supervision…

Today it was an Ignore-Idiot-Number-One-And-Idiot-Number-Two Club.

So, I tried to ignore Envy (aka Idiot Number 1) when I saw him standing over me. I concentrated on the Math homework I got earlier that day.

"Mira," he poked my shoulder.

I bent lower and checked the Math on one of the problems.

"Don't try to fool with me, Babe," he snickered, "I know you already did all of your homework."

'Dammit! Why does he have to be right?!' I looked up at him silently, putting on my best bored face.

He knelt down and clasped his hands together, joking around with me, "I'm so so so so sorry!

Please forgive me, Beautiful!"

I smirked and leaned my head on my hand, "Oh fine!"

He jumped up and grinned at me, "Girls are so vain!"

"Ah, shut up!" he should be glad I even forgave him.

* * *

Envy: *evil laughter*

Ed: …I'll kill you! *chases*

Mira: Heh!

Lane: Amazing first chapter!

Al: *sweat drops*

Lane: We do not own the song Love Game!

Mira: Lady Gaga does!

Envy: The best song ever!

Lane & Mira: R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

_Envy – Mira and Lane have done it again!_

_Lane - yuppers! Though Mira didn't write much of this chapter. Why? She's moving across the country. But me and her still passed ideas back and forth through text, she just didn't actually write it._

_Ed – aww, she moved…._

_Al – that was enthusiastic, brother._

_Lane – But as soon as she has a computer available, she'll be writing it in addition to contributing ideas! Yeah Mira!_

_Envy – Yup! But neither of them own FMA._

_Lane - Daaaaaaammmmnnnnnnnn_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**MAD Academy**

**A Collaborative Project by:**

**Mira Hinder and Lane Render**

**A Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime**

Lane's POV

**Before School; At School**

This time, after Mrs. Riley let me into homeroom, I ignored the computer and opted to text message my wonderful, sexy beast (aka, Envy.).

Me: hey envy, baby.

Envy: hey sexy ;)

Me: so u and mira are all good, rite?

Envy: of course, I just called her beautiful and she forgave me instantly

Me: u call every1 beautiful…evn the guys u hit on.

Envy: and they always end up hitting me, I cant imagine y…

Me: mayb cuz most of them r straight?

Envy: …makes sense…

Me: but don't worry babe, I'll always b here

Envy: that's y I luvv ya

Me: luvv ya 2. kisses

Envy: kisses

I was about put my phone away when it started to vibrate.

Envy: heyy, babe, I just found a bra in my dresser…

Me: …wuts it look like?

Envy: black w/ red polka dots

Me: I've been looking 4 that!

Envy: I'll bring it 2 u in hr

Me: can I assume u'll do it in the most obnoxious way possible?

Envy: u no it, babe. Luvv ya

Me: ily 2

I know what you're thinking. But I really probably just left it there last time me and Mira had a sleep over at his house. I don't sleep with a bra on… and I guess I left it there. And, no! We are _not_ dating!

Ed's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mr. Mustang's Homeroom**

"What's with the sourpuss?" said a certain voice that I chose to ignore. "C'mon runt, speak to me."

"Who're you calling-" he bashed me on the head. "Ow, dammit."

"Spare me the yelling," the dumbass palm tree said, "and I'll tell you how to stop Mira from being mad at you."

"Why would I care-"

"A bit late to pretend you don't care, pipsqueak." '_Hold it in, hold it in, hold it in…' _"So, when I get back, if you stop shouting at me, I'll tell you."

"Get back from where?"

"I have to return something to my little kitten." Before I could ask him what that meant he started walking to the front of the room. "Hey Mustang? Can I go to Mrs. Riley's? I got some personal items to return to a certain blonde-haired, bespectacled girl." He held something out. '_What is- oh hell no!'_

Mustang didn't look up, which was probably lucky for Lane (yes, of course, he was talking about Lane) considering what Envy was holding as he walked out of the classroom. I could only wonder how he got _that_.

Al's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

Lane was sitting in her seat (with Wrath on her lap for some reason) and Mira was staring off into space, humming something while tapping her pencil against her chin. Lane kept looking up from the book she was reading to glance at the door nervously.

"Lane, are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, but since Wrath is here already, I'm waiting for Envy to-"

"Hey Mrs. Riley," I heard Envy's voice from the door. Mira, Lane, and I (Wrath had somehow fallen asleep on Lane in the short amount of time he was there) both turned to his direction. He gave Mrs. Riley a two fingered salute. He turned to us and started walking over. "Lane, baby, I believe this is yours," he said loudly, holding out something…

I felt all the blood go to my face. What was _I_ blushing for?

Lane just rolled her eyes. "Thanks, baby," she said, taking it from him. He kissed her on the cheek, then practically skipped out of the classroom. "See you in Science!" he called to her.

She looked at me and sighed. "It's not what you're thinking."

"Wha-huh, I-I wasn't thinking anything. Nothing at all. Really."

"It's okay, Al. I know what _I _would be thinking. But it really isn't that." Lane nudged Wrath awake. "Wrath hun, you need to get off me, it's almost time for first period."

"Mhm," he started rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I'm really starting to scare myself but _'So cute!'_ "Lane, why are you holding that," he said, standing up.

"Don't worry about it, Wrath dear," she said, stuffing it in her backpack.

Ed's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mr. Mustang's Homeroom**

Envy came back into homeroom with a giant grin on his face. He sat next to me and smiled evilly.

After a short pause, "I'm not even going to ask…" I clarified.

He nodded, "Thought so," he sighed, suddenly serious, "Now, about Mira…"

Wrath's POV

**English ; Period 1**

When Envy came into English early, he immediately sat on Mira's desk, like always, "Hey, Babe," He winked down at her, "Hey bro," he smiled at me.

"Hey Envy."

"Hi big bro!" Mira rumpled my hair, smiling. I was glad she wasn't being scary anymore, like yesterday. I wasn't even sure what Ed did to her, but apparently it was pretty bad.

"Mira," Envy got close to her face, being serious. Wow. He was only serious once every…like…_eternity_! This is new, "I swear that what happened yesterday was all my fault. Ed really didn't have anything--" he trailed off, seeing Mira's icy expression. _'Scary!'_ "Okay! He _did_ agree to that…but my friends and I got carried away with provoking him…"

Mira was looking in the other direction and didn't look like she was listening.

Envy sighed as Mrs. Riley called the class to order. He left a folded piece of paper on Mira's desk and took his seat on the other side of the room. Mira stared down at the paper for a full thirty seconds before picking it up and reading what was inside.

I peered over her shoulder and read:

_Mira,_

_Even though you won't listen to what I say, you have to read what I write._

_So, I'm so very very very very very very very very very very very…_

The "very"s lasted for almost the entire page.

Mira had a small smile on her lips.

_…very very very sorry!_

_Ed_

I looked up at Mira, "Do you forgive him?"

She smiled down at me, "Just maybe…"

Mira's POV

**Science ; Period 2**

I wasn't paying attention at all during Science, never a good idea when you're close to failing. My hand was in my pocket, clutched around the note from Ed.

To forgive him or not to forgive him? That, my friends/enemies is the question!

Why did he want me to forgive him so much?

I had told Envy, in my best I-don't'-care voice, that I wasn't going to forgive Ed _that_ easily…

This'll be fun!

All of a sudden a loud chorus of, "PENIS!!!!" interrupted my thoughts.

"Huh?!" I jolted in my seat, remembering I was in school and that Mustang was teaching us about the reproductive system.

"Pay attention, Miss Hinder," Mustang nodded to me then directed the rest of the class, "Everybody now, vagina!"

I sweat dropped. I guess this is how he'll get people to stop giggling in class whenever those words would come up. **[A/N: Our teachers made us do this in our Science class…no lies! XD]** He should really close the door though…

Ed's POV

**Science; Period 3**

"So…?" I asked when Envy came into the classroom and sat in his seat next to me.

"She says she's not going to forgive you that easily." I sighed. "But, you're getting closer."

"Hello, boys!" a voice said, interrupting our conversation. Lane popped out of nowhere and kissed Envy on the cheek. She looked at me with eyes full of pity. "She hasn't forgiven you yet, has she? Tough break, kid."

"What's with that face? And why are you calling me kid?"

Of course Mustang decided to interrupt us right then. Lane slid into her seat right behind Envy, blowing on his neck, in what I assume was an effort to harass him. Something tells me he might have been enjoying it.

"We will be doing a lab today, class," Mustang told us.

"Huzzah!" Lane cheered, pumping a fist in the air.

Mustang started passing the lab papers out. "Groups of three, everyone take a lab table. Read the directions first, or you'll either fail or explode something. Possibly both. Go."

"Ed, be in our group!" Lane said, gripping Envy.

I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"C'mon, we always get put in a group with someone we _really _don't want to work with 'cause they're the only one left. I actually _like_ you."

"If he doesn't want to we can claim Jimmy like we did last time," Envy said, nudging her and winking.

"And why would we want to do that?"

"Because he's hot!"

Lane's POV

"But you never do anything, and Jimmy never does anything. I had to do all the work. Plus, I wanna work with Ed. He's cool. Righto, Ed?" I said, punching said boy in the arm.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Envy asked, snapping fingers in Ed's seemingly frozen face.

"Oh…I think he was shocked when you called Jimmy hot… Let's take advantage of this moment."

Envy nodded at me, and we both looped an arm in one of Ed's, proceeding to drag him over to a lab table.

Envy's POV

"Dude, that's getting annoying," I said, slapping Ed upside the head. Jesus, how can someone fail English and say things like upside the head? Right….because they don't understand words like oxymoron…"So I'm bi…get over it."

"Yeah…I just…way to drop that one on me…" Ed said, shaking his head.

"So Edo, I was thinking," I said, while attempting to get our Bunsen burner to light. "If you want this girl to forgive you…you're gonna have to do something outrageous."

Lane put some red liquid in a beaker on the little holder thing on the Bunsen burner as soon as I got it to light. "Just do something sweet and she'll forgive you. She's a girl, it's the way we are. You know, it's your own fault. I would freak if you saw me in my underwear."

"Speaking of undergarments…how exactly did Envy acquire your-"

I burst into hysterical laughter.

"Shut up," she snapped, as she poured something into the red liquid. "I slept over his house. I don't like to sleep with a bra on. I left it there by accident. End of story."

"Alright, alright. Lane…is the mixture supposed to do that?" Ed asked.

"Wha- holy crap!" Lane jumped back from the table. I stopped laughing long enough to look up at the mixture that had turned green and was bubbling. I pushed back from the table…and fell on top of Ed. Oh, how lucky am I, falling on top of a cute blondie…

"Crap muffins! I forgot to turn the heat off first!"

Mustang waltzed over (see, really, I'm so amazing) and turned off the flame. He grabbed a pair of tongs and took the beaker off the Bunsen burner. "Sin, get off of Elric."

"Killjoy," I muttered as I stood up off the runt. Ah, his face was priceless.

"Sorry Ed, Mira and I learned to deal with it, and you will too," Lane said apologetically. I chose not to be offended.

Mustang cleared his throat and we all turned immediately to look at him. "Sin, Elric, Render, I expect you to make up this lab or except a zero."

"Yessir," Lane and Ed chorused. Ed's right hand twitched. What was he gonna do, salute him or something? I almost laughed at my own thoughts.

"I think I'll just take a-" Lane whacked me hard in the chest –"a retake," I said breathlessly, "I'll redo it with them."

"Good. Do it today."

Ed's POV

**Social Studies; Period 4**

"Welcome to Social Studies with Mr. Havoc. Today I will be teaching you nothing," Envy said quietly to me as we sat in our seats. Jeez, what was with these teachers and making me sit next to him?

"Do the journal," Havoc…_Mr. _Havoc said, jabbing a figure over his shoulder. The question on the board said 'Why was the civil war important?'

I took out my composition book and was about to write something about Ishbal when I realized that they meant the Civil War here. In America. Which I knew nothing about.

"Hey Envy, which one was the civil war again?"

He started roaring with laughter.

"Sin!" Ha-_Mr_. Havoc yelled at him.

"Yessir!"

"Shuddup!"

"Yessir!"

He looked at me. "The Civil War was the only one fought between people in our country. That's what a civil war is…I remember because the girls had to tell me over and over. You know, it was the one that freed the African American slaves?"

"Right. I guess I just kinda lost it." Sheesh, this was gonna suck. But he gave me enough to write something that wasn't crap.

"Alright class. Read Chapter 5 in your books. Take notes," Havoc (I give up…) then reached in his pocket and brought out a cigarette. _Even in this world…_

"Mr. Havoc, you're supposed to teach America's youth, not corrupt it," Envy joked at him.

"I am teaching…and you're all already corrupted anyway."

"You're not allowed to smoke in the school!"

"Fine!" I heard him mumble "Damn kid."

"Alright Elric. First I'm gonna tell you to ignore Lane's whole 'act sweet' advice. Mira needs to know you're sorry…she doesn't need to think you're a pussy-" and he continued on trying to help me through class, while I attempted to listen and take notes on the chapter at the same time. Sadly, his advice was the only advice I was getting...

**Music; Period 5**

I walked into the large music room. Finding it on my own was a challenge, Envy had hurried there ahead of me for some reason. Once inside, I was greeted by a chorus of, "_We're finding our voice following our dreams_," from the stereos.

A line of four girls were dancing to the words in front of the class. One of them, I could tell by her hair, was Mira. There was a tall brunette girl facing the four girls, obviously teaching them the dance.

"_Cause we rock_,

_We rock_,

_We rock_,

_We rock on_."

Envy, who was sitting on one of the first row desks, waved me over. His eyes were riveted on the girls. I guess I know why he was so eager to get here before.

"_Nobody in the world's gonna bring us down,_

_The louder we go the better we sound._

_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._"

As I passed, I kept my eyes on Mira. She glanced up at me for a split second, then looked away, concentrating of the dance.

I sat next to Envy on the desk, "This class rocks!"

Mira's POV

"_We've got the music in our souls,_

_And it's to sing we want the most,_

_It picks us up when we fall down,_

_It turns our world around_."

Nicole, instead of facing us, lined up with the rest of us and danced dead center. She _was_ the dance expert!

"_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on_."

_'Point up.'_ I repeated what Nicole had taught us for remembering the moves to myself, _'Air guitar arm twice. Low fist pump.'_

"_Everyday and every night._

_Cause we rock,_

_Camp rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._

_It's all we wanna do in life._

_Raise your hands up in the air and scream,_

_We're finding our voice following our dreams._

_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._

_Nobody in the world's gonna bring us down,_

_The louder we go the better we sound._

_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._

_Raise your hands up in the air and scream,_

_We're finding our voice following our dreams._

_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._

_Nobody in the world's gonna bring us down,_

_The louder we go the better we sound._

_Cause we rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock,_

_We rock on._"

Applause erupted through the class. Envy and the few buddies of his that were with him whistled and cheered.

I rolled my eyes at Envy, carefully avoiding looking at Ed.

Mrs. Aarons, our music teacher, came in as the five of us bowed.

"Right now, class," Mrs. Aarons smiled good-naturedly, "settle down."

I sat in the table of Nicole's desk.

* * *

"And that's all for today's lesson, class," Mrs. Aarons had me wipe the whiteboard clean, "Free mic for fifteen minutes."

I grinned without facing away from the board. Free mic is that if there is any time left in class, any performers get to show their stuff.

I sat back for the first to acts and relaxed. I just listened.

After the second act was over Envy called out, "The Prodigy should go up!"

Ed's POV

"The Prodigy?" I asked.

All the students agreed with Envy and they all turned to peer at the person. I stood to get a better look and realized that they were all looking at…

"Oh…guys…I'm not a prodigy…"

…_Mira_!

"_Please_…"

"You play, like, _every_ instrument!"

"…voice is _amazing_!"

"Come on, Babe! Put on a show for us non-prodigies!" Envy called across the room.

"Oh _fine_!" she walked up to the front of the room and sat on the stool centered there. A boy handed her an acoustic guitar, "Any requests?"

Everyone shouted out at once. I wasn't able to pick out individual words, but apparently Mira could.

"'A Moment Like This'?" she grinned, "Why not?"

She ran her finger over the strings, letting chords fall into the suddenly silent air.

"_What if I told you it was all meant to be,_

_Would you believe me, would you agree_,"

I was aware that my jaw had dropped and my eyes widened in shock. Her voice was…it was…

"Incredible, isn't she?" Envy leaned forward, listening with his eyes closed.

"_It's almost that feeling that we've met before,_

_So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy,_

_When I tell you love is here and now_."

Everyone was so quiet. I couldn't blame them. Her voice just…

"_A moment like this. _

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this,_

_Some people search forever,_

_For that one special kiss,_

_Oh, I cant believe its happening to me,_

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this._

_Everything changes but beauty remains,_

_Something so tender I can't explain,_

_Well I may be dreaming but til I awake,_

_Can't we make the dream last forever,_

_And I'll cherish all the love we share._

_A moment like this,_

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this,_

_Some people search forever,_

_For that one special kiss,_

_Oh, I cant believe its happening to me,_

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this._

_Could this be the greatest love of all,_

_I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall,_

_So let me tell you this._

_Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this._

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this,_

_Some people search forever,_

_For that one special kiss,_

_Oh, I cant believe its happening to me,_

_Some people wait a lifetime,_

_For a moment like this._

_Oh, like this,_

_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me,_

_Some people wait a life time, _

_For a moment like this,_

_Oh, like this._"

There was a small pause after she was done.

Then everyone started clapping and cheering.

Al's POV

**Lunch; Period 6**

Brother sat at the lunch table with a frozen shocked expression on his face. Envy sat next to him, chuckling.

"What happened to him?" Wrath waved a hand in front of Ed's face.

Lane gave Envy a look.

"We had Music together today," he stated simply.

"Oh," Lane looked over to Ed, 'So, you heard her sing?"

Ed nodded slowly, shocked expression still in place.

"You _really_ sorry you made her mad?"

Ed nodded again.

"Good," Lane huffed, "She's been so out of it and you need to start being sweet like I told you so she calms down a bit."

Envy interrupted, "I don't think _he's_ her worst problem right now."

All of our eyes followed Envy's angry expression to the other side of the cafeteria. There stood Mira, face to face with this world's Rose and Winry. Except they didn't look like Rose and Winry. Their faces were meaner and they were using evil expressions towards Mira.

Mira's POV

"What do you want?" I looked up at the blonde-haired blue-eyed witch in front of me with my best scary face.

"Heard you singing in Music last period," Winry tossed her ponytail back.

Rose flipped her dark hair back and snorted, "As if you could call that noise singing."

I ignored Rose, "So?"

"Ever heard of singing lessons? I heard they could help even the most…ungifted individuals."

I twitched with anger, "Winry, I don't have ti--" I tried to brush passed them both, but Rose pushed me back.

"Stay _out_ of my spotlight…" Winry growled, then spun and walked off.

Ed's POV

I watched as this world's Winry flipped her ponytail and said something right in Mira's scaryface.

Rose then said something that cause Mira's eyebrows to come together, like she was worried. Then they angled down to glare.

Envy went to stand, but Lane pushed his shoulder down.

"Let her fight for herself," Lane stared intently at her redheaded best friend.

"Why? They're always causing her trouble! I would beat them to pulps if they weren't girls…" Envy surprised me by getting defensive.

Lane shook her head, "I want to teach her to stand on her own. To fight her own battles. Her brother was always doing it for her…she needs to learn her own strength."

I considered that for a moment. Inside I kind of agreed, but I think Lane was being a little too cold towards the situation. I looked back up in time to see Mira get shoved back by Rose.

Envy stood, but Lane grabbed his arm in a restraining way.

Winry bent forward and said something nastily in Mira's face. Then the two girls walked off, leaving Mira standing there. She took a big breath, then came over to the table. Envy sat back down when he saw her coming over.

Lane's POV

Okay, I know you all probably think I'm a bitch for not helping my best friend. But she doesn't fight for herself. Her bro's not always gonna be around.

"Mira, you okay, they didn't actually do anything to you, right babe?" Envy asked, sounding worried. He can seem like a jerky kind of guy, but he's really amazingly sweet.

"No, just harassed me like the bitches they are. Said something about needing singing lessons," Mira told us.

"You? Singing lessons? Hell no!" Ed said.

Mira ignored him. "Not like I care what they say anyway. Two bitches like that don't have an effect on me." She shrugged. "I'm gonna go get my food." She left to go up for lunch.

I looked at Envy. "See babe. She can stand on her own. She's fine, baby." I slid my fingers in to his and gripped his hand reassuringly.

He relaxed and let out a breath. "Yeah babe. You're right."

Envy's POV

**Health; Period 7**

Health class is in the LGIR. The Large Group Instruction Room. The LGIR has a five tables in it that seat four a piece, more if you need to. Twenty people isn't exactly a large group (yeah, that's right, I did MATH) but it's double the normal class size. Al, Lane, Ed, and I all sat at one table.

"I wonder what we're doing this quarter in class," I thought out loud.

"I'm just glad we're done with cancer. It gives me the creeps," Lane said, shuddering.

"Don't worry Babe," I said grabbing her hand, "if we do something creepy I'll get you through it."

"This is why I love ya baby."

"Settle down class," our teacher said, walking into the classroom.

Ed, sitting on the other side of me, and Al, on the other side of Lane, were staring up at her with wide eyes, both of their mouths open.

"You'll catch flies," I pointed out.

"What's up with you guys?" Lane asked, looking worried.

"They think my sister's hot," I answered for them.

Al looked at me with the 'ewwwwww' face and Ed said, "Aww, hell no!" Then at the same time they exclaimed, "SISTER!?"

"You two are the Elric boys, right," my sister, Sloth, said smiling at them. "Welcome to the class, but I need to ask you to be quiet."

"Right…" Ed said, staring down at the table with a wide-eyed expression.

"Sorry ," Al said. What was with the stutter?

Ed's POV

Oh…Al almost called her mom…. I looked at him reassuringly. It was all I could do since we were separated by two people.

"So class, to go along with what the Freshman class is doing this term we will be learning about STDs."

…great. I was going to learn about STDs from my mom's lookalike.

Then she started passing out mini magazines. "Read the article in here about STDs then do this worksheet," she handed a kid a stack of sheets to pass out. "You may do it with your table."

Thank God, theoretically of course, that she wasn't actually going to be teaching it.

"What was that with you guys?" Lane asked me and Al, looking sincerely worried.

"Yeah, it's nothing, right Al?" I told her.

"Yeah…" Al said.

"Alright…" Lane said with a doubtful look on her face, but somehow the perverted things Envy said made the situation _less_ awkward.

"C'mon kitten, we need to read this. It's stuff we need to know, you and I."

"Baby, I thought Dante-" I resisted twitching "-gave you this lecture when she found out you were bi."

"Baby, she did. But my mom's a freak. And you know how her voice gets when she's freaking out anyway. I could barely understand what she was saying, babe. But that was really unfair of her. Just because I happen to like guys too doesn't mean-"

"I know babe, I know."

And so we started to do our work.

Some of those diseases were really disgusting.

Al's POV

Right when we got out of class I went to brother and whispered, "Brother, I am officially never having sex."

Envy heard me… "Oh Al, you'll change your mind. Trust me."

Lane saved me from that situation. "Envy, babe, you've never done it."

Envy wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You can change that, kitten."

Lane ducked out from under him and yelled, "DENIED!" running down the hallway and laughing like a maniac. It was actually kind of endearing.

Lane's POV

**Afternoon Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

Mira looked out of it, and deep in thought. After the Winry and Rose thing, I felt kind of bad, even though I knew I did the right thing. So I tried to add some humor.

"So Social Studies was a whole lot of boring…don't tell anyone, I don't want Mr. Havoc to get fired, but he let me try his cigarette," I told Mira and Al.

Mira started laughing like crazy and Al gave me the O.o face.

"It sucked…I started coughing like crazy…"

"Serves you right!" Mira told me through her laughter.

"He said I just need practice…" I told them, completely honest.

"He's a horrible teacher," Al said, shaking his head.

But as soon as Mira stopped laughing, she went back to her thoughtful look. I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get much out of her when she was that thoughtful.

**After School; Science Lab Make-Up**

So we re-did the lab and got all the information we would need to write decent lab reports for homework. So we were all talking.

"Hey, did Mira forgive you yet?" I asked Ed.

"No," he groaned, "what the hell do I do?"

"Did you try to be sweet like I said?" I asked. "Or did you listen to Envy's craptastic advice?"

"Uh…"

"He didn't even listen to me. I told him to do something outrageous. He didn't even try. Unbelievable," Envy threw his hands in the air.

"Here's an idea. Do something sweet, something that'll make her go 'he's really doing that for me? Awww' but make it something crazy that will make her go 'wow, he's determined!'"

"How do you suggest-" he got this 'idea!' look on his face. "Is Mira still here? There was something on the board in the music room about chorus…she's in chorus, right?"

"Yeah, she has chorus today…" I told him, wondering where this was going.

"Good! Hey, Mr. Mustang, I'm done. I'm going to the music room!" he said, running full speed out the door.

"Elric!" Roy called after him.

"Aw, Roy, just let him do it! I hate when Mira's mad at people I actually _like._"

Roy sighed. "Oh fine, why not. I already let the rest of your friends, why not more?" he continued to mumble to himself about how he was too lax of a teacher.

I laughed and glomped him. "I love you Roy, you know that."

He sighed while Envy yelled, "Babe!" in mock distress.

I let go of him and went back to Envy, sitting on his lap, ignoring Roy's mumbling about how I was going to lose him his job. "Aw, baby, you know I love you most."

"Babe, Christmastime can't some quickly enough. I'm gonna catch you under some mistletoe this year, just you wait."

It's a sort of game we play every year, since fifth grade, that Envy always loses. He tries to catch me under the mistletoe, I try to avoid him. I always manage. It's not that I'm not comfortable with him. We kiss each other on the cheek and what-not all the time. It's just that mistletoe seems so _romantic._ And I've never had a _real_ kiss before, from a guy who I liked and who liked me, so I guess I just can't handle the idea of Envy kissing me under the mistletoe.

Mira's POV

**After School; Chorus**

"Ready, and-" Mrs. Aaron's made the signal for us to start….well me, since I sung the first part alone…

_"Buh-bum.. buh-bum..._

_  
Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me  
Been an awful good girl  
Santa baby so hurry down the chimney tonight_

_Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue,  
I'll wait up for you de-"_

The door slammed open and I turned to look. '_Who's interrupting my son- oh, _him?'

Ed was standing in the doorway breathing heavy. He went to the center of the room, completely ignoring Mrs. Aarons. "Mira, I'm sorry. I can't believe I'm doing this, but you've pushed me to it," and he knelt down on on his knees. "I'm begging! Forgive me!"

_'Wow,' _ I thought in shock, _'he's determined.'_

"Elric, Principal's office! Now," Mrs. Aaron's yelled at him.

"Yes ma'am," He squeaked, running out the door.

Ed's POV

**After School; Principal's Office**

As I walked into the office I was just asking myself why the hell I would do something like that.

"Sit down, Mr. Elric," said the Principal…Fuhrer King Bradley…Pride. Geez, what the hell? "S you disturbed Mrs. Aaron's Choral group. You went there without permission. This is very serious, Mr. Elric," he looked at me with a grave face…then burst into hysterical laughter. What was with the people here!? "Of course you're not in trouble, Edward! You did it for a girl, didn't you?" he asked, winking at me.

"Wha- wait a second!" I said, my face getting red, "It's not-I don't."

Just then the door burst open. "It's not Edwards fault, I – you…weren't going to do anything, were you?" Mira asked, her face getting red.

"I believe I see the beginnings of a relationship here," Fuhrer Ki- Pride- the _Principal_ sang. I think I'll just go with Pride…

"Me and Ed are starting to be friends, yeah…at least now that I'm not mad at him…Look, Pride, if you're not going to punish him, can we go, my bros waiting for me.

"Of course, Mira." Why did she call him by first name, "Can your brother bring mine home? I'm sure he doesn't want to wait for me."

"Sure thing," Mira said. That was it…Pride was Envy's brother…which would be why Mira called him by his first name, she probably knew the lot of them. Geez, this was weird.

When we walked out Mira asked, "Hey Ed, how are you getting home."

"I was going to take the late bus."

"Didn't you here the announcement? There's no late bus today.:

She laughed at the expression on my face.

"No worries, my bro will drive you home."

Lane's POV

**After School; The Lobby**

'Finally you're here," I said, when Mira walked up with Ed.

"I've been waiting for you," Mira's bro, Jacob, said, hugging her. "…Who's he?" he glared at Ed.

"He's a friend of mine," Mira said.

"Don't worry, he's nothing like Envy," I said reassuringly.

"Hey. He's the one who-" I covered his mouth, and luckily, Jacob seemed not to notice.

"Only because you made him," I whispered harshly in his ear.

He shrugged. "You should whisper to me like that more often," he joked.

I rolled my eyes.

"Bro, Pride wants to know if you can bring Envy home," Mira said.

"Sure thing," Jacob told her.

"Can you bring Ed home too?" she asked.

"Sure,' he said, less happily.

The car ride was awkward, what with the cross-examination of Ed. Luckily, by the time he dropped Ed off, he seemed okay with him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Lane – so wait for the next installment._

_Envy – where we will meet new characters, Al will find out what giftedness got Lane in, and …*grudgingly* a new character will come in…_

_Lane – yes he will! *swoons*_

_Ed &Al- *sweatdrop*_

_Lane – and hopefull Mira will have computer access soon. But until next time…_

_Lane &Envy – R&R!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Lane – Oh, how it's been so long, we're so sorry we've been gone, we were busy writing stories for you._

_Mira – Stop inaccurately quoting Panic at the Disco._

_Lane – Rawr._

_Ed- -rolls his eyes- Yeah so these idiots have been busy doing things like "school" and what not. So they've been gone. But they're back. Everyone be afraid._

_Al –Ed, that's mean._

_Ed – Yeah, yeah. They don't own FMA._

_Lane and Mira – DAMMIT!_

MAD Academy

A Collaborative Project by:

Mira Hinder and Lane Render

A Fullmetal Alchemist

Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime

Ed's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mr. Mustang's Homeroom**

Envy peered over my shoulder to look at the door and smirked, "There's one of my kittens!" he half yelled, "Hey baby!"

I looked over, like the rest of the class, and saw Mira. She lingered at the doorway, like she wasn't sure if she should come in or not, "Miss Hinder? Here to talk to someone?" Mustang's voice made her jump.

She nodded and pointed over at me and Envy.

"Go ahead," Mustang waved his hand then went back to reading his newspaper.

First thing she did when she came over was to whack Envy upside the head.

"Hey! I like 'em feisty!" he grinned, making kissy faces up at her.

She sighed and ignored him, turning to me, "I have to talk to you."

Dammit! Was she still mad at me?

"Sorry about how my brother acted. He's...um...well, he's..."

"Like a vicious guard dog?" Envy suggested, earning another hit upside the head.

**Flashback; In Jacob's Car**

The questions that Mira's brother was dishing out to me were normal. Just things people would ask someone they just met. But the entire time Mira, sitting in front of me, kept her shoulders tensed and her eyes on me in the mirror.

I wondered why she was so tense.

Envy was grinning from ear to ear, so I knew something was gonna happen. Lane was looking out her window, seemingly disconnected from the conversation, but I could tell she was listening.

"So..." Mira's brother glared at me from the rearview mirror, "What are your relationship plans with my sister?"

My face reddened as I understood what he was talking about, "'R-Relationship'? As in, dating?"

I tried to look at Mira's reaction to this through the mirror, but her face was in her hands, "Oh jeeze..." she mumbled shaking her head.

I looked over at Lane and Envy to maybe find some help, but they were both covering their mouths, holding back laughter.

So I went with the damn safest thing I could think to say, "I'm nothing like Envy, trust me."

"Hey!" Envy stopped laughing. He sounded a bit offended. Serves him right.

"It's true though..." Mira and Lane said together.

"It really wasn't that bad..." Incredibly awkward maybe...

"We're kinda all each other has...so I think that's why he tries so hard to keep me safe," Mira smiled. 'All each other has?' Didn't she have parents?

Before I could ask, Mustang told us to pass and she hurried out of the room to get her books.

Envy's POV

"Hey," Ed got my attention, "What did she mean by that?"

"By what?" okay I know I'm not the smartest person on the planet, but was I missing something?

"She said 'we're all each other has'...what did she mean?" we walked out of homeroom and both watched Mira duck into her's.

"Oh, that's right...you don't know," I frowned, deciding whether or not to tell him.

"Know what?" Ed sounded impatient.

"Mira's parents...they died in a car crash. It was about four years ago, in the spring.

She was in the accident, but she made it out okay. She wasn't even knocked unconscious, but she did break a couple bones."

Ed stared up at me in awe, "How can she be so happy all the time? It only just happened recently?"

I ducked my head, "Trust me...for a while, she was far from fine for a year or so," leaving him to think about that, I walked away.

Lane's POV

**First Period; Math**

Ed was really quiet for most of the period. It kind of made me worry. Did Mira say something to him? Or-worse-did Mira's brother say something to him? I was glad when Mrs. Curtis let us work on the homework in partners.

I tapped Ed on the shoulder, "Yo. What's going through your mind? Why are you so quiet?"

He looked back at me, "This morning...Envy told me that Mira's parents were..."

"Gone?" I nodded, "Yeah...Why? Does it really surprise you that much?"

"She doesn't act like she's lost so much..." Ed stared down at his desk, as if remembering something painful.

"Not anymore..." I mumbled and Ed's head shot up.

"Envy said something like that before...what are you two hiding?"

"I'm not hiding it, Elric," I growled, getting defensive at his tone, "I'm protecting her...I don't think she'd want you to know," I let that sink in for a minute, "If you care that much, Shortie, than you must liiiike her!"

Mrs. Curtis signaled for us to leave and I raced out of the room laughing, Ed following close behind. He was ranting about how he wasn't short and he didn't care.

Envy's POV

**Second Period; Math**

I tried to pay attention. Really. Maybe… a little? No, not at all actually. It's just the way I am. Don't tell me, I know… you love it.

So instead of listening to my teacher talk about triangles and the like, I let my mind wander however it wanted to. And my trusty mind wandered right over to one of my kittens…Lane.

I started thinking about just how much I couldn't wait for the mistletoe to go up. This year I was going to catch her and make her virginal lips (not counting spin the bottle and the like) not so virginal anymore. And this year I had a real motive behind it. I was beginning to play with the idea that I might actually like Lane. And it was all part of the plan.

Because I knew why the idea of mistletoe was something she had to avoid like the plague (I question my English grades.) She thought it was romantic. And Lane loved when a guy got romantic.

I wonder if she noticed that most of my pervertedness had been directed at Mira lately. I'd been trying to show Lane more 'respect' lately. Note the quotes.

"What's so much more interesting than my class?" Mrs. Curtis growled, slapping a ruler threateningly in her hand.

"Well actually, Mrs. Curtis, it's…" I trailed off as Mrs. Curtis's eyes narrowed and I swear flames appeared behind her. "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

"I thought so," she said, going back to the lesson.

I sighed in relief.

Wrath's POV

**Fourth Period; Spanish**

Mira giggled and leaned over my work, "No Wrath honey," she pointed her pencil down at my notebook, "Llamo is spelled with two Ls."

"Oh," I stuck my tongue out at my work and rubbed my mistake out with the eraser side of my pencil.

"Aww," Mira rumpled my hair, "Cute," she was always calling me that.

We both heard footsteps coming at us down the hallway and turned to see Ed and Envy approaching us. Envy was laughing loudly with Ed. Mira make a little yipping sound, like a scared puppy. I looked at her and she even looked like a scared puppy, "What is it?"

"Ehehe…Oh. Just thought I wouldn't have to explain myself quite yet…"

Ed's laughter stopped and I turned to see him staring straight at Mira. Envy noticed too and said loudly, "I know you see your girlfriend. Just go get her why don't you?"

Mira mumbled, "God he can be such an idiot…"

They got closer and Ed stopped at the water fountain to get a drink, while Envy continued to the bathroom with a boisterous, "I gotta take a whizz!" Was that something to be proud of? I don't think so…

Mira opened her Spanish textbook and buried her face in it. I wasn't sure if she was trying to cover her face, but I thought it made her look more noticeable.

Ed stood in front of her and just kind looked at her. Then he cleared his throat and said, "You know, it's not ladylike to sit like that."

Mira shifted her position and placed her textbook in her lap, "Alright…"

Ed knelt down in front of her and said, "Envy and Lane explained some of what you said. But I can tell there's more."

Mira looked down at her knees and frowned, "So?"

"So, I'm going to make you a deal."

A deal? This was weird. What were they talking about? I should ask. No. That's be rude. No interrupting…

Mira looked up at him, I recognized her poker face from the many times she, Lane, Envy, and I had played cards, "What kind of deal?"

"I don't tell people a lot about myself either. But if you make this deal with me I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She narrowed her eyes at him, like he was a frog she was to dissect, "What do I have to do?"

"For every personal question you ask me, I get to ask you one," he held out a hand for her to shake, "But we both have to promise to answer as honestly as possible."

She looked at his hand, "Fine," she took it into her own, "I promi-"

"No, Mira! You're doing it wrong!" I wiggled one of my pinkies at her.

Mira smiled at me and let go of Ed's hand. She held her pinkie out, grabbing his with hers, "I promise."

Al's POV

**Fifth Period; Art**

I sat down at a table with Lane. "Hi."

She smiled brightly. "Hi Al. So you got put in my Art class? Cool."

That's when the Art teacher walked in. "Alright class, to start off, did anyone draw anything over the weekend?"

Everyone looked at Lane before she even had her hand in the air. She blushed. "Er… hi guys."

A few laughed and one boy said, "C'mon then, show us. I'm sure it'll be good"

"Haha, thanks Mikey."

He blushed when Lane smiled brightly at him.

Lane's POV

Aww Mikey was such a cutey. He was one of the guys in Art club with me, and though he wasn't good enough for that to be what got him in (he got in on Technology) and he wasn't even good when not compared to us gifted kids, but he was super into it and had promise. He's my pet project in Art club and he…took a liking to me…

I pulled out my sketchbook from my bag and flipped through it to the sketch from the weekend. "Look, I've been ninja-fied!" I was once again greeted with some laughs. The picture was me, Naruto-fied, holding a kunai in my mouth and making a seal with my hands. "We should have learned to expect this by now," one of the older boys ruffled my hair.

"You have obsession problems," A girl, Lily, told me.

"Still it's really good," Mikey said, "I don't watch that stuff, but it looks really professional."

Let's get something straight. Mikey might have a crush but if there were problems he'd tell me.

"I think you should try and fix up the head proportions a bit," he told me. Example A.

Al's POV

It was…really…wow. Yes I realized that it was not realistic…probably really dorky, but honestly that's one of the reasons I already liked hanging out with Lane. But honestly, it was something I could never imagine anyone my age… a lot of people older, never being able to draw like that.

I think I just found out why Lane was in a school for gifted children.

"Good job, Lane," the teacher interrupted the little group obsession over Lane's pictures and her dorkiness. "Alright class, settle down." Everyone found their seats. "Today I would like you to draw a picture of anyone, a friend, family member, someone famous, in any one of your favorite books or shows. And Lane," Lane sat up straight and looked at the teacher, "no anime."

"Damn," she muttered under her breath. Then she brightened up. "I know just what to do."

Lane's POV

**Sixth Period; Lunch**

Al and I were the last to get to the lunch table. I sat down while he pulled over an extra chair. Al sat down and kinda stared off blankly the way Ed did when he heard Mira sing.

Mira laughed. "You guys just have Art class?"

I smiled wide. "Yuppers!"

Al snapped out of it…kinda. He started nodding vigorously.

"So what did you do?" Ed asked. "Draw anything interesting."

"Actually yes," I said, searching through my bag for it.

"Right… that," Al was shaking his head.

"It's not that bad," I told him, pulling it out. "Look!"

"What the-" Ed stared at it with wide eyes.

"We had to stick a friend or someone in a book or show or something, and I really like Harry Potter…for some reason it seemed to fit you well. And tada, Edward Elric and the Philosopher's Stone."

Ed's POV

I resisted the urge to slam my head into the table. Why…. Just why? "Well… it's good," I told her, because it really was…but really… the Philosopher's Stone….it gave me this oddly paranoid feeling.

I was distracted by Mira. "Oh my god, hottie alert!"

What the fuck?

"Ooh, it's Russell," Lane swooned, looking in the same direction as Mira.

Russell…really? Hell no…

"Ugh, him," Envy said disgustedly, while I banged my head on the table.

"Do I look ok?" Mira asked Lane.

"Yeah, me?" Lane asked, nervously smoothing down her hair.

Envy groaned.

Still, I was slightly curious. Al looked a bit curious too.

Wrath was giggling like a maniac. "You guys are funny."

Lane took a deep breath then called, "Russell, can you come here?"

"I'm not ready!" Mira sounded distressed.

"Get ready," Lane told her. Then Russell came over and it was in fact Russell Tringham. Lane asked him (while twirling here hair…kill me) "Do you know when the school play is going to be?"

Russell answered her, "Yes, it's going to be Romeo and Juliet. Will I be lucky enough to have one of you girls as my Juliet?" Russell placed a hand lightly on each of their backs and leaned down closer to the table, smiling at them in a way I recognized from the Mustang I knew.

Both giggled. Since when were they girly? I knew them two days but this was ridiculously out of character.

"We're trying out," Mira told him in a voice that made me want to rip my ears off. Lane nodded, fluttering her eyelashes.

"You say it like you have the part," Envy commented, venomously. Lane and Mira both glared at him.

"Well no one's beat me yet," Russell said in that over confident way that makes me want to punch him in the face. He was definitely just as bad in this world as he was in mine.

"Well Al will!"

"Huh?"Al gave him the ,'What the hell are you doing to me?' look.

"Yeah, what Al said," Lane and Mira chorused looking at Envy, confused.

Russell glared. "Just try." Then he stomped off, which made me and Envy both start laughing at him. What a girl!

"So what's Romeo and Juliet even about?" Al asked.

Mira and Lane both looked horrified and shocked.

"It's a beautiful love story," Lane clasped her hands together and looked into the distance.

"A tragedy, really, about-" Mira started, dramatically, but Envy cut her off.

"He'll just read the script," he said, impatiently.

"But, I-" Al started, but Lane cut in.

"No Al, you should try out. You need to do some activity other than Mustang's do-nothing club," Lane told him.

"Yeah, it'll be super fun," Mira encouraged.

"I don't like standing in front of crowds." Al shot me a look, like it was my fault… okay, I gave him some bad experiences with crowds…

"Don't worry, Russell always gets the lead part anyway, he's a prodigy in Theater the way Mira is in Music," Lane told him.

"Yeah, and the way Lane is in art. I even heard that in eight grade the was in the Academy's middle school play and high school play," Mira added.

"He's infallible," Lane stated, matter-of-factly.

"And not to be mean," Mira said, "but most of the drama people here have been doing it forever, so you probably won't get a big part."

"Yeah, it'll just be fun," Lane assured him.

"Okay then…" Al said, giving in.

"But you still have to try to beat that ass," Envy gave him dagger eyes.

"Okay, okay, I promise," Al reassured him.

Mira's POV

**Period 7; Art**

I saw Winry and Rose standing against the wall where I needed to pass. They didn't see me so I ducked my head, pretending to search through my papers.

When I'd gotten past them and considered myself "home free" I looked up and almost ran right the door leading to the staircases. I would have smacked my face into metal if not for Ed, who reached around me and flung the door open.

Incidentally, my yelp of surprise turned into a breathless, "Thank you."

"No problem," he shifted his backpack on his shoulders and started up the stairs, "You coming? Art class right?"

I nodded at him and jumped up the stairs after him. Since I was walking being him, I tried not to notice his butt. That was pretty hard seeing as it was pretty much right in my face. And-I just can't help it okay? I'm a notice-er. I shut my eyes really tightly for a second before I accidentally blurted out that he had a nice ass. I opened my eyes and started humming to myself. Ed looked at me curiously, but I ignored him.

We opened the doors to the next floor. I heard the catchy strum of a guitar and noticed a girl sitting out in front of a classroom with a small group of people crowded around her. They were all listening to her play.

Ed and I walked by, while I fought the urge to join her with my voice. We rounded the corner and Ed broke the silence, "So…"

I didn't find our silence particularly awkward, but he must have to try to say something, "So?"

"I guess I'm going to start that question deal with this," he turned into the art room and I followed him, "Who taught you how to sing?"

Admiration. Bleh. I heard it in his voice, "My mom did," I responded without protesting the amazement he felt thinking about me singing. I know I should really own up to my singing, but there was always room to get better than people like Winry.

He dropped his bag onto a table and sat, blinking his golden eyes at me expectantly. I sighed and smiled at him, sitting on the table next to his bag, "Guess you're expecting a question?"

He smirked up at me, "Too complicated for you to understand the concept?"

I laughed good-naturedly, "Ha! More like I want to come up with an intellectual question before asking something potentially dangerous."

We had a bit of a stare-down, lightning pretty much flashing between our eyes, before we both started laughing, "Yeah. You've officially gained my respect, girly."

Wrath walked in and smiled at us, "No more scary Mira!" he cheered and hugged me.

I guess it wasn't so awkward with Ed after that 'cause he stopped being so quiet and broody. He was more laughing and smiling and exchanging sarcastic remarks with me.

"This time I want you to mix a color that describes the person to your left," our teacher looked at me and smirked at the amount of paint covering my arms. I get bored. Painting isn't exactly my thing.

I looked to my left at Ed, "Black like your heart?" I suggested.

"Oh shut it," he laughed.

"What's your favorite color, Mira?" Wrath had to make a color for me.

"Hmmm," I thought about it for a second, "Blue."

"Mmkay!"

'Actually…' I grabbed a bottle of metallic paint and squirted some onto my palette. I stared at the glob of gold paint, then peeked up at Ed's eyes, 'Not quite…' I mixed more colors into it, yellow and white…a little brown, "That's more like it."

I didn't realize I had said it aloud.

"Hm?" Ed leaned over and looked at the color, "That's me?"

"Yup!" I used my fingers to mark the end of his nose in gold.

"Hey!"

I laughed at his expression, then he laughed as Wrath painted a line of cotton candy blue down my cheek.

Al's POV

**Period 8; Math**

"Hey Bro!" I turned at the sound of my brother's voice.

"Hey Brot-Why are you covered in paint?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Well Mira an-"

"Did you piss her off again?" I covered my eyes with one hand.

I heard Mira's laughter and looked up to see her and Wrath colored from head to toe like my brother, "Nah. I started this one."

"What even happened?" I asked.

Ed nudged Mira with his elbow and she smirked at me, "GIMME A HUG ALPHONSE!" she threw her arms out and nearly tackled me to the ground.

I hugged her back before realizing something, "That paint's still wet isn't it?"

"Mmhmm, sorry hun," she backed up, leaving a rainbow-painted hug imprint around my chest, "I already got Envy if that makes you feel any better."

"I guess," I smiled at her.

"Come on," she grabbed Wrath's hand, "We'll be late for Math."

Let's just say Teach-Mrs. Curtis wasn't exactly happy with the two of them for being covered in paint. She left me alone because it was their fault and I wasn't early as covered. But she didn't yell, she sent them to the office to get clean uniforms.

They came back mostly clean except for their hair and the class continued normally until the bell rang.

Lane's POV

**After School; Outside**

Everyone was standing around outside waiting for their rides or hopping on buses if they lived near one of the school districts that supplied buses to our school. I ran up to Mira who was sitting on a bench chatting with Ed and Al.

"Hey guys," I said. "Who ya waiting for?"

"Oh, no one," Al said, "we live nearby, we just walk home."

"Oh that's cool," I replied before looking at Mira. "Can I come over today? The intern at my mom's workplace keeps making her mad and you know she always takes that crap out on me."

"Oh, yeah I'm sure that's fine," Mira told me. I saw her face change into her idea face and she cheered, "Ed, Al! You should come too!"

"Yeah!" I agreed enthusiastically as Envy walked up with Wrath.

"Hey, where'd you run off too after last period? You missed the Spanish homework," Ed told Envy.

"Oh, Pride wanted to see me and Wrath before we left," Envy told us. "He texted me."

"So that's why you came out of nowhere and ran off dragging Wrath behind you," Mira said with a look of sudden understanding. "Dante being weird again?"

"Yep, Mom being weird again. Pride wanted to know if I knew what was going on, which I don't." He sighed. "But whatever, what are you guys cheering about?"

"We're going to Mira's house today!" I told him. "You guys can come?"

"Of course. Oh there's my ride, gotta go inform him." Envy ran off toward the car that I recognized as his brother, Greed's. I heard some cursing and a 'why didn't you say this before I came here?' from their general direction. Ignoring it, I said to Al, "So what exactly _happened _to you? You're covered in paint."

Al's POV

**Mira's House**

Ed and Wrath were sitting on the bathroom floor leaning their heads into the bathtub. Envy and I were both wearing a pair of Mira's brother's swim trunks and scrubbing the paint of their hair. This is, of course, after Envy had already gotten the paint out of Mira's hair. Lane was harassing Mira by trying to dry her hair (aka, mess it up) while telling stories of other stupid things they've done.

"So yeah, Mira's chasing me and I'm following Envy, and right in front of me, Envy runs for the archway into the kitchen and misses, running straight into a wall."

"Ha! Seriously?" Ed laughed.

"Yep! And he just stumbles back, shakes his head, and keeps on running. I just dropped, right there, to the floor _laughing_."

"Nice," I laughed along with the others. "Hey, you know, once I tricked Ed into eating grass."

Mira and Envy doubled over laughing while Lane gave Ed a look of disbelief. "Grass, Ed? Really?"

"Hey, no fair! I was 4. I wasn't clever enough to deal with this maniacal demon," Ed said indigently.

"I was only 3 and I was already able to outsmart you," I joked reaching over the side of the tub to poke him in the side.

"Hey, speaking of your age difference," Lane spoke, breaking up what probably would have blown up into a full blown battle of sibling rivalry, "How come Al's only a year younger, but you're two grades ahead, Ed?"

"Oh that? It's 'cause I'm a super genius," Ed stuck his nose in the air like the snob he is.

I rolled my eyes. "Our dad put the wrong birth date on his school form."

"And I'm super smart," Ed said with an air of finality.

"Grass eater," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that!"

This little battle escalated into a fullblown splash fight. Ed accidently hit Envy, who joined by splashing his brother, who proceeded to grab a plastic cup, fill it with water, and dump it over Mira's head. Mira and Envy then decided it was a great idea to gang up and pick Lane up, bring her to the tub, and drop her in.

We stuck around for a while helping Mira clean her bathroom.

I was quickly getting used to life with these people as friends.

_Envy – So here you have it!_

_Lane – YES IT IS OUR AWESOMENESS IS IT NOT AWESOME!_

_Mira – 'Tis awesome. 'Tis._

_Envy – Tune in next time for strip poker!_

_Lane – Actually, strip BS._

_Envy – Whatever, I get to see topless girls. So read and review to make Lane and Mira happy so they'll actually write something!_

_Lane and Mira – DO IT!_


	4. Chapter 4

Mira: Here we are! Back fo—

Envy: Shh!

Lane: Anyway…Here's the next ch—

Envy: Shhhhhh!

Mira&Lane: … *stare*

Ed: Mira and Lane don't ow—

Envy: Shut it!

Ed: …

Al: Theydon'townfullmetalalchemist!

Envy: CAN WE JUST GET TO THE CHAPTER? I want to play strip poker…

* * *

MAD Academy

A Collaborative Project by:

Mira Hinder and Lane Render

A Fullmetal Alchemist

Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime

Mira's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

Lane was bouncing up and down on her seat, hands in her lap, watching the clock. Yeah, I know that probably doesn't strike you as weird, but Wrath and I were doing it as well. In complete unison.

Why are we acting like total freaks (more than normal at least)? Because, my friends slash enemies. It was Friday.

Let me explain something. Fridays at this academy were random fun days. Like karaoke day, or paint-splatter-the-halls day, or (and this has happened) let's-all-pack-up-and-go-to-the-water-park day.

Well, today was club day. And take a wild guess which club Wrath, Lane, and I all decided to hang out in?

"Alright, you can pass," Mrs. Riley opened the door.

The three of us jumped over our desks and sped out of the classroom.

Lane's POV

**Mustang's Science Room**

Ed and Al were just walking down the hallway with their messenger bag. "GUUUYS!" Mira and I called, running up to them, Mira grabbing one of Ed's arms and me grabbing one of Al's, dragging them along with us. "Let's go!" We ran into Mustang's homeroom.

"What the hell, crazies!" Ed shouted as Mira shoved him into a seat next to Envy at one of the lab tables.

"L-lane! What are you guys doing!" Al stared at me with a 'what the hell insane girl I don't even know' look.

"YOU GUYS!" Wrath pouted at us, running in behind us. "You ran away!"

"Sorry!" I patted his head and turned to the Elrics. "Club day. We have no classes. We get to chill in here!"

"No one explained that to you guys?" Envy questioned.

The Elrics chorused, "Nope."

I was just observing the fact that we were the only ones in Mr. Mustang's room. Well, to be honest, I should have figured that there wouldn't have been any of the science nerds. They knew that we were crazy and only here to goof off, and they were probably anticipating something they wouldn't want to be involved in, which was what Envy was just suggesting, "So we should definitely play strip poker."

"Yes!" Mira and I agreed immediately, before looking at each other and saying simultaneously, "waaaait…."

"What?" Envy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Can't play poker," we chorused.

"Oh that's fine, I know how to modify BS for it."

"Awesome!" I cheered as Mira fist pumped.

"Now Lane, Mira, mostly Lane, go be cute and convince Mustang to let us do it," Envy directed. Ed and Al both had looks of concern, but we were all ignoring them for the moment being.

Mira and I consented and skipped over to 's desk.

"Rooooy!" I sang, lightly pushing the newspaper out of his face.

He sighed, looking up at us. "Yes?"

"Well, we wanted to know if we could-" Mira started before cut her off.

"Does it involve anything _too_ risqué?"

We looked at each other then back at him and smiled innocently.

He sighed."You know what, I don't want to know about it. Go in the science closet. Lock the door. Don't touch anything. I will not bail you out if you get caught. I will pretend that you snuck in there on your own. Understood?"

"Thank you!" we cheered before skipping back to the boys. "Mission accomplished!"

Al's POV

**Science Closet**

Mira and Lane made sure that both doors were locked while Wrath buzzed around the room looking in cabinets at chemistry supplies. I wasn't sure what "BS" was, but I was pretty sure I knew what "strip" entailed. And that made me kinda nervous.

"So I assume we all know how to play BS?" Envy was shuffling cards very skillfully. Brother and I shook our heads, "Okay. Then I guess I get to explain it to you noobs."

I questioned what a "nub" was. I peeked a look at Ed and he gave me this look like his overly-confident self. It was a little reassuring.

"So the object of BS is to get rid of all your hand of cards. Sound simple enough?" he said tauntingly at Ed, who glowered back at him, "However, we go in a circle putting down cards facedown in order from Ace to King. Whoever has Ace of Spades goes first."

"Well we're obviously going to have to lie," Ed said, "BS. Bullshit. I get it."

"Thanks Captain Obvious. I was about to say that," Envy glared at him. Ed glared back, "And yes. You have to lie. If you think someone's lying. Say "bullshit" or "bs" whichever floats your boat. If you're right, they have to pick up all the cards lying down and take off one item of clothing," he wiggled his eyebrows in Mira's direction and she stuck her tongue out at him, "And if you're lacking clothing, you may put one item back on. If you're wrong, you have to take the pile and take off an item of clothing. And if you lie, after the person next to you puts down a card and calls it, you have to say peanut butter. Any questions?"

Silence. I put on my best poker face.

This had been an awful, terrible, just plain _bad_ idea. Mostly I thought so because I was _extremely_ uncomfortable. We seemed to have gotten stuck in an endless loop _and _Envy didn't let us put clothes back on when a new game started. Mira was down to just her bra and underwear and Lane, who was sitting next to me, was down to her skirt and her bra. And when I say skirt and bra I mean it, her panties were sitting in the growing pile of clothes. It had been so hard to avert my eyes when she took them off. I didn't want to look (or at least I convinced myself of that) but I couldn't not look. Like a car crash. But more attractive.

My shirt was gone but my bottoms were still intact. Envy was only missing his shoes. Wrath and Ed had managed not to lose anything the entire time.

It was Lane's turn. She was cursing at herself under her breath, "Goddammit I'm usually beast at this game." She placed a card on the pile, calling out, "One seven."

Envy examined her face before saying, "BS."

"NO! Take it off!" She yelled and she grabbed her underwear from the pile and stood to pull them on. "Oh that feels nice, I lost these last game."

Envy sighed, taking off his socks. "Whatever, babe." He shrugged.

I stared at my hand muttering, "Two eights." No one questioned it.

The turn then passed to brother. "One nine," he spoke confidently.

"Peanut butter," I offered up, and Mira and Lane both swore. I suppose they really wanted their clothes back.

Envy moved to put down his cards but Mira yelled out, "Wait!" while staring at Ed's face. They had a short staring contest that ended in Mira yelling out, "BS!" and pointed dramatically at Brother.

"Goddammit," he swore.

And that was the end of his winning streak.

Another couple games and I was wearing my shirt again. Lane had only managed to loose and gain back her underwear many times over. Envy was topless at the moment. Mira was still down to her bra and underwear. Wrath had _still_ somehow managed not to lose anything, and Ed was only in his boxers.

Cursing to himself, he jumped the moment Mira said, "One five," shouting out a triumphant "BS!"

Mira blushed, cursing. As Ed put his pants back on he seemed to make the realization the Mira was already down to just her underwear. As Envy cheered, "Take it off, Mira babe!" Ed and I exchanged looks of discomfort.

Ed's POV

Well obviously I had wanted to just get my clothes back on, but I hadn't looked at who I was catching to do it. And when I realized what she was down to, I became extremely uncomfortable. She was going to end up taking off her bra.

As Mira blushed red she surprised me by putting her legs in front of her, clamping her thighs tightly together, and instead taking off her underwear. Al gave me an absolutely terrified look, but I just shrugged helplessly and stared up at the ceiling as Mira placed her cards in her lap.

She was only like that for a few moments before the bell rang. I heard the sound of metal on the door and a lock clicking before Mustang stuck his head in and started, "Time to le-" before catching a look at everyone, frowning, and turning tail, closing the door behind him.

Mira's POV

Mr. Mustang closed the door and I was the first who jumped at the pile to grab my clothes, "Alright. Wrath wins. Now gimme my goddamn underwear!" I pulled them on and shot a quick look at each of the guys. Wrath, Ed, and Al were all respectfully looking in another direction. Envy on the other hand was staring at my face with unwavering eyes.

"Don't worry your pretty little head," he smirked as I picked my clothes out of the pile, "I'm not looking."

My face was probably as red as the stupid fire extinguisher hanging off the wall, but I paid no mind and dressed myself. The reason I didn't say much is that I'd let myself take a couple of looks at the guys. Save Wrath. That little card shark was able to keep all his clothing on. At any rate, I noticed that all three of the guys were…let's say "well shaped." I know Envy did his fair share of working out, and I'd been swimming with him before.

The Elrics on the other hand I've only known for a few days, so I wasn't sure what to expect. Al was around the same look as Envy; as in he was well defined and mostly smooth skinned. Ed though, had a strange amount of scars along his body. I zipped the side of my skirt up while watching him out of the corner of my eyes. His arms stretched as he pulled them through his shirt, "Oh my god…" I said softly, just as Envy started loudly teasing Al for "gawking" at Lane. A slightly good-natured argument started among them all.

He was close enough to me to be the only one that heard me; "Hm?" he met my eyes.

I blushed at being caught looking, "Where'd you get _that_?" I pointed at the spot where his right shoulder met his arm. A bumpy and painful-looking scar wound all the way around his arm. I followed the line down to his chest where there were similarly textured scars in the shape of circles embedded into his flesh.

His eyes followed my gaze to his shoulder and he gasped, pulling his shirt forward and started to button it up, "I—um…it's…" the expression on his face was almost comical. He looked up at me, his face a deep red color, "It's an accident."

"You mean it's from an accident?" I wondered aloud.

"…Yeah," he looked away and I pulled on my button-down white shirt.

Ed's POV

It would have been stupid to expect none of them to notice, but my stomach still dropped down past my feet when Mira mentioned it. She seemed to notice it made me uncomfortable so she focused on pulling on her knee high socks, though I noticed her keep glancing at me. I self consciously pulled my school uniform blazer tighter, looking away from her and focusing on Al's blushing face as he stammered something out at Envy, who was still standing around topless, fighting Lane and stopping her from pulling her sweater vest over her head. She ended up toppling backwards onto Envy and I could tell from one look at Al's face that he had gotten a glimpse up her skirt as she fell. If she wearing her tights, I'm sure Al would have passed out from the embarrassment.

We all got our clothes back on and left the room, Al, Envy, and Lane walking along and laughing, Lane and Envy tag teaming making Al uncomfortable as Wrath skipped along beside them. I waited behind for Mira who was having trouble with her boots. Standing there in the doorway my brain started working to come up with some lie I could tell her to explain away the scars. How do you explain automail scars to someone in this world? How could I possibly explain those away?

We shuffled along behind the four of our friends. I shoved my hands in my pockets, staring straight ahead.

"Ed?"

I jumped a little at the sound of her voice, but didn't look at her when I asked, "Yeah?"

"I don't mean to pry, but…what happened?"

I was about to stammer out some half-assed answer but instead I told her some amount of truth, "I don't really like talking about it. Shouldn't have even played that game in the first place none of you want to see that," I grumbled the last part out.

I side-glanced at her, and saw her giving me a look of disbelief. "Seriously, Ed? Ok I totally get it, you don't have to talk about it, I'm sure whatever it's from isn't pleasant. But Ed, it's doesn't change the fact that your kinda hot." She seemed to realize what she said and her cheeks turned pink.

I felt my cheeks heat up a little too. "Yeah, right. Your lying."

"Your overly self conscious Ed. Trust me, I know, Lane is the frigging queen of it, though she brushes it off by being obnoxiously open about her body. And I mean…I'm a teenage girl I _know_ body image issues. I have a ton, and I'm not pretty enough to shrug them off."

"Are you kidding me, Mira?" I almost laughed. "You seriously shouldn't have any image problem."

She blushed. "Well I guess we all have some issues with that."

I considered it for a moment. I then considered that maybe I wasn't terribly disgusting. Maybe my scars weren't all that bad. I considered it, but still didn't completely believe it.

Mira broke my thoughts. "Hey Ed, wanna come over today?"

"Huh? Why's that?"

"I wanna brush your hair."

I stared at her blankly.

She blushed, but insisted, "C'mon, it's seriously nice."

I laughed. "Well thanks. Sure, I'll come over.

**Mira's House; After School**

Mira's brother made me seriously uncomfortable. I sat, legs dangling off Mira's bed (I'm not short, her beds just high up!) with Mira cross-legged behind me, working a brush through my hair. It would be a very soothing feeling if it weren't for the fact that the doorway opened to show Mira's brother Jacob leaning against the opposite wall, staring into the bedroom, right to the bed, straight at my face. He had a bowl off popcorn in his lap and he kept popping some in his mouth and crunching.

"What's his problem?" I muttered.

"Oh he's just-" Mira started, but Jacob cut her off.

"You look like a punk!" Jacob called in, popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

"I look like a punk?"

"You don't," she assured me.

"He does," Jacob called.

"He'll get used to you," Mira told me muttering, "eventually…" to herself.

Well that was reassuring.

Mira's POV

"He's just being a dip…" I tried to explain, "He doesn't like ANY guy." looking scar wound all the way around his arm. I followed the line down to his chest where there were similarly textured scars in the shape of circles embedded into

"Yeah I can tell…" he grumbled, "Can I piss him off?" He turned up to look at me, his eyes almost pleading me.

"That depends how you plan to do that," I mumbled.

"I can tell you don't mean it," he sighed, "I won't mess with him…"

"What are you two muttering about in there?"

Mira and I both jumped.

* * *

Mira: Shortest chapter yet. Haha.

Lane: Yup. I miss the longness.

Ed: …

Al: …

Envy: R&R please! :D


	5. Chapter 5

_Lane – WELCOME TO OUR WORLD OF_

_Mira – CRAAAAAAAP!_

_Envy – Are you going to make obscure references in every one of these notes?_

_Lane and Mira – Possibly._

_Ed – I don't get it._

_Lane – Oh it's just some stuff a forty year old man who voices you says in a blooper reel of him voicing a flamboyant Frenchman._

_Ed - …next time, don't explain._

_Al – That's….awkward….well…Lane and Mira don't own this._

_Envy – Or Vic Mignogna and his voice._

_Lane – Oh how I wish I did…._

_

* * *

_

MAD Academy

A Collaborative Project by:

Mira Hinder and Lane Render

A Fullmetal Alchemist

Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime

Envy's POV

**Play Tryouts: The Auditorium**

"So what are you trying out for, Envy?" Al asked me as we walked into the auditorium with Lane, Mira, Wrath, and Ed.

"Oh nothing in particular. I just like being part of the play, it doesn't really matter to me what part I get," I told him shrugging.

"This is going to be extremely boring," Ed groaned, plopping down in a chair and pulling the science notebook out of his book bag. "At least I can do the crap ton of work that Mustang gave us."

"So you're gonna let Envy and I copy, right?" Lane grinned at him.

"Nope."

"Aw but Ed," she whined.

"Oh shut it," Mira said, poking her in the side, "you don't need to copy. You get A's on everything in that class without even trying."

Lane stuck her tongue out at her, "Doesn't mean I like doing it."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Why don't you just start it while you wait for your turn?"

Lane absolutely lit up when she read her lines. It was quite a sight to watch her. She completely _became_ Juliet, the completely in love, if slightly crazy, teenage girl of Shakespearean literature. Every line was said with such feeling that even though I didn't completely understand the language, I saw everything she was trying to say. She recited her lines with Russell, which normally would have ruined a completely good mood for me. But Lane drew my eyes to her.

Mira and Al went up together but I missed every single moment of their tryout complimenting Lane on how well she did. I felt bad about it when I had to make up some nice words for the two of them, but it was alright.

Ed's POV

Envy may not have been paying attention to Mira, but I did (as well as Lane). Of course I didn't want that to show. I kept my eyes to my papers and listened to her melodic voice flow out her mouth. Alphonse sounded nervous, but I could tell he was trying his hardest. They sounded as if they were in the middle of a mushy conversation about their undying love to one-another.

I looked up just as someone sat down next to me in the front row of seats, seeing Mira and Al staring into one another's eyes and proclaiming their love. Was it just the stage lights or were they both blushing..?

I shook myself internally and went back to my work, pretending to read, but still listening.

"You know it's rude to do that, right?" Russell said from beside me. He was obviously the one who sat next to me.

I sighed and snapped my book shut, glaring at him from the side of my eyes, not saying anything. This wasn't my world's Russell, so I shouldn't prejudge. I tried not to, but I found myself yet again looking at Mira. She tucked a lock of her reddish hair behind her ear. I could tell she was nervous but she carried the scene very well. My eyes focused on her hair again, it seemed to glow orange in the light. I'd noticed this before, but at the moment my mind found it incredibly interesting. Probably my inner-alchemist wondering how exactly it happed to work that way.

"She's quite wonderful, is she not?"

I jumped at Russell's words, "…She's alright."

"'Alright'? You've obviously have some infatuation with her to stare at her in such a manner."

In all truth, I would have punched him in the face if I hadn't remembered Mira had somewhat of a crush on him, "Just a good performance," I muttered clenching my hand into a fist. Man, did I want to hit him. His voice was just so…arrogant. Bastard…

Mira glanced over at me mid-line, then at Russell. Her face turned a slight pink color and she took my brothers hands in hers earnestly as if looking for some safety line to keep her from passing out. It kind of added to what she was saying. Al went with it and took her into his arms, finishing the scene.

"Not bad…" I heard Russell mutter grudgingly.

I grinned at my brother as he came down from the stage with Mira, "Good job, little bro."

Mira's POV

I nodded gratefully and smiled at Envy and Lane who gave me praise. In all truth I wasn't listening. My knees were knocking together and threatening to let me fall to the ground. I collapsed into the seat in between Al and Ed and let out a shaking breath. Why did they both have to be staring at me so intently? Russell AND Ed? God, I almost passed out. Wrath came over and plopped onto my lap, "You okay, Mira?"

"Of course, Wrath honey," I smiled and grasped onto each of the Elrics' wrists tightly to find my center.

"Then why'd you hug Al so tight?" he asked innocently.

I looked over to Al and both of us blushed, "To make the scene more believable," I said with a slight question at the end. Al nodded at me and I released his wrist from my grip.

"Oh," Wrath jumped off my lap, "okays," he skipped over to Lane and Envy.

I exhaled another breath, this one not as shaky and let go of Ed's wrist.

Al's POV

**Before School; Outside the Music Office**

A week passed and I swear, Lane, Mira, and even Russell seemed on the brink of a panic attack. I hardly even saw Russell and even I noticed him getting tenser. And that's nothing compared to what Lane and Mira were doing. I swear I once heard Lane chanting something under her breath and it seriously freaked me out. That wasn't all. They seemed to feel the need to launch into a conversation about not getting angry if one of them got callbacks and the other didn't.

Brother and I promised the girls to show up at school early the Monday that our Music teacher had announced she would post the results. Envy and Wrath had made that promised, and the girls had also told me that Russell had informed them he would be there early too.

Lane had grabbed my arm and Envy's. Mira had grabbed Wrath's and Ed's. They had then proceeded to drag us full speed through the school to the music office, where I now stood, staring amazed at the callback list.

**Juliet – Lane Render, Mira Hinder, Maria Casagrande **(a senior I didn't know)

**Romeo – Alphonse Elric, Russell Tringham**

I would go on, but past that, I didn't absorb any more information on the sheet. I got a _callback?_ How had that _happened?_

I heard footstep approaching down the hall, I heard a, "Congratulations, girls," and then silence. I turned to look at Russell making an intense face at the sheet. "Hmm," he finally said, "I got a callback for Tybalt too?" He then turned to me. "Good job, and good luck, Alphonse."

Mira and Lane proceeded to grasp onto Russell, "Russ, good job!" Mira said. "Ready for your callback? Isn't this the first one you've had since sixth grade? Or are those just rumors?"

"No, this is, in fact, the first since then."

"Wow Al," Lane said, as she and Mira both gave me a look of awe. "You really did impressively."

"Yeah, thanks…" I could feel my stomach start to turn with the pressure of this.

Lane turned back to Russell. "So where were you, I would have thought you'd be here before us."

"Well my younger brother is in eighth grade, and goes to the middle school part of the Academy. Since we walk here anyway, I always walk him to the sixth thru eighth area," Russell informed us.

'_Oh, that's right!'_ I thought. I had completely forgotten about Fletcher.

"I'm a guardsman, if anyone cared," Envy offered up, grumbling.

We all ignored him.

Mira's POV

**Morning Homeroom; Mrs. Riley's Homeroom**

Sitting in homeroom, I watched Al grow progressively paler. Poor boy. He was probably freaking out inside. Since Lane was busy reading her copy of the script over and over, I volunteered to go cheer him up.

Sitting on his desk, I poked him on the shoulder, "Hey Al. Wake up."

He stared at me with a desperately awed face, "Wha..?"

"Al, hun. Relax please? It's just callbacks I promise," his eyes widened and he made a slight whimpering sound in the back of his throat, "You'll do great," I smiled, "Your tryout was wonderful and if it helps, just look at me or Lane while you perform."

He smiled slightly in a grateful way, "Thanks, Mira."

The bell rang and I hopped off his desk.

**Second Period; Science**

I was about to hustle my way out of the room when Mustang stopped me, "Miss Hinder," I swore under my breath and looked back to Mr. Mustang.

"Yes?"

He motioned for me to come to his desk and I obliged, keeping my eyes on the papers rather than him. I felt like a puppy that was about to get scolded, "You do realize that I'm serious about taking you out of club activities right?"

I nodded, "Yessir."

"What do you plan on doing to get your act together?"

I opened my mouth to speak and instead Envy called out, "Hi there Kitten, you know you can pass right?" I looked up to see Envy, flanked by Ed and Lane, flock into the classroom, "Oh, I see," Envy grinned, "Mustang's keeping you after for 'extra lessons'," Envy made the thrusting motion and laughed. Ed gave me this wide-eyed stare and Lane covered her mouth to keep from cracking up.

Mustang and I gave each other horrified looks, "Ew gross! He's so old!" I stuck my tongue out.

"Alright! That's enough!" Mustang slammed his hand on his desk, "Sit down Sin!"

"Yessir!" Envy saluted to him and went to sit down in his seat.

"Miss Hinder," I looked back at Mustang, "I suggest you get one of the students in this particular class, save for Envy, to tutor you in Science."

I suddenly remembered something, "Hey Ed. You still up for helping me with Science?"

Ed was still giving me this wide-eyed look; like he was picturing exactly what the "extra lessons" thing would look like, "Uh…Yeah. Sure."

Mira's POV

**Lunch; Period 6**

Ed gave me this incredibly awkward look as we walked to the library, lunch trays in hand, "You're learning about _what_ exactly?"

"The reproductive system," I felt my face go hot and I recalled that day in lunch:

…_the look that Envy and Lane shared. Their look of pure __evil__._

_"Ed can help!" they pointed to the elder blonde boy._

_"He's really good in Science!" Lane cheered, covering Ed's mouth._

_"He __is__ in our class after all!" Envy pointed out, gesturing to himself in Lane._

Dammit. So that's why they volunteered him so quickly.

"Well…it can't be too hard can it?" we sat down and I pulled out my science book. I opened it and looked away from the page to Ed's face, "Uh…yeah…so…I assume you know what that is right? I don't need to explain it…" he looked away from the page at my face and we both turned bright red.

I flipped the page about the anatomy of a penis over without looking at it.

"This might be a problem," I muttered.

"Yeah…"

Ed's POV

I made the mistake of looking at the damn book again. The page was titled, "The Anatomy of the Vagina."

I decided to close the book, "This won't work unless we stop feeling awkward."

"I can't not be awkward! I saw the...you know…part of the male's body…and…" she trailed off and covered her face with her hands. She was blushing even redder than before at this point.

I was very unsure as of what to say. I thought for a moment before sighing, "You know what? We're doing this after school, with the others, because somehow I suspect that Lane and Envy's obnoxious comments will manage to make it _less_ uncomfortable."

She made a serious face. "Agreed."

Lane's POV

**Health; Period 7**

Al and I were alone in the LGIR, the first ones to arrive after lunch. Envy had run off to do who knows what, so he wasn't with us. Al sat down in a chair, and I took the spot next to him, opting to situate myself on the table instead.

"Al," I said, "you know, you can practice lines with me if you'd like. Would that make you feel better?"

Al looked at me and shook his head, turning pale at the thought. "I'm just going to do my best not to think about it until I have to."

I shrugged it off. "Alright, Al."

Ed and Mira then walked into the room.

"Lane, I'm unhappy with you," Mira stated, crossing her arms.

"Very unhappy," Ed emphasized. "You and Envy knew what she was doing this unit in Science, didn't you?"

"Yep," I said brightly.

Ed turned to Al. "And you could have warned me too!"

"Sorry Brother, didn't think about it."

Envy chose then to come into the room calling, "So how'd the studying go, babe?"

Mira glowered at him, "I hate you. And we're going to your house today after callbacks."

Envy shrugged, "Cool, the Elric's get to meet my insane family." He grinned evilly, and both Ed and Al looked concerned.

"Oh you guys are so in for it," I gave Al a grin that matched Envy's. Al looked terrified.

Ed's POV

**Spanish; Period 8**

Our assignment in Spanish class was to come up in front of the class and describe one of our friends. Of course, I didn't feel like writing anything down, because Al and I were fairly adept at languages after passing through the gate. It was one of the few things that just came up of its own accord, like alchemy without a circle had back in our own world.

But I stood up and realized suddenly,_ 'Crap, I know more than I should, actually.'_ And I didn't particularly feel like saying something completely past the high school level. So without really thinking it through I said, "Uh…Envy es gordo y molesto."

Envy snorted. "Did you just call me a rapist or something."

"No, I called you annoying."

He looked slightly offended. "Well…I mean…Buen….TU MADRE! Y yo no estoy gordo."

"Did you just shout 'you're mom' at me in Spanish?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes I did."

I rolled my eyes as the teacher sighed. "Siéntese, Eduardo."

I shrugged, going to my seat.

Mira's POV

**Callbacks; The Auditorium**

Al looked a little less pale at this point. Maybe it was because he knew it was almost over. Ed pulled him to the back of the group and I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"Come on, Al, we've fought worse than this in the past."

"And you know what, Ed? I was a big metal suit of armor! Not a soft teenage boy!"

Wait…what?

"Yeah. I know. But I know you can do this way better than I could ever even begin to imagine myself doing so," I heard Ed pat his brother on the back, "So get out there and kick some ass!"

"Okay brother," Al said gratefully.

…

I sat next to Ed, just like during auditions and watched Lane go up to the stage after she had been called with Alphonse. I gave her a smile when she looked back offstage and she saluted back at me. As they began the scene, I started wiggling uncomfortably in my seat.

"Something wrong?" Ed turned to me.

"Well," curse my honesty, "I heard you before—well I was more eavesdropping. And I'm confused about what you said to Al."

Ed stiffened in his chair but I didn't look at him, "Oh. Well it's a story."

Another vague answer, "Hmmm," I had an idea, "I'm going to use my question that I never used a week ago: What's the story about?"

Ed sighed and shook his head like he knew he'd regret the day he gave me the power to know everything about him, "It's about the Fullmetal Alchemist. A story I made up for Alphonse and I when we were little. It tells the tale of the two Elric brothers in a country called Amestris."

I found myself watching his mouth move, concocting words into the story that he must have told so many times, "Is that how you got into the Academy?" I murmured, not able to let my voice go any higher than that.

"Yes. I wrote the story down. It was so long…"

I focused my eyes back on the stage and felt myself unable to focus on the performance, "Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"How did the story start?"

He let out a sigh, "Is this one of those questions?"

"Yes," I was hungry to know. Know about the story of the Elric brothers in Amestris.

"Alright. This story started before the Elric's time. With the birth of Alchemy. You see, in the world Ed and Al were born into, Alchemy was the top science. It was the science of understanding the structure of matter, breaking it down, then reconstructing it as something else."

Ed's POV

It was unnerving how riveted she was to my words. I was sort of glad she got called up to act. At the same time though, I felt like she was taking this giant weight off my shoulders. Like I was telling her all my secrets. It felt good.

I realized I was beginning to trust her. Even if she didn't know it was real.

Lane's POV

It was weirdly easy to profess undying love for Alphonse. So I felt confident as the two of us walked off stage. I took a look at Al. He had been great on stage, even if he probably didn't realize it, but now he was extremely pale and shaking a bit. I touched his arm. "Al, are you alright."

He shook his head, looking at me. "I think I might just throw up if this isn't over soon."

"Seriously Al, I didn't know you cared that much about the part," I said to him as we walked toward the others. Mira and Ed appeared to be deep in conversation. Well, more so, Ed was speaking and Mira was hanging on his every word.

"I don't," he insisted, "but the not knowing and going up and doing stuff I've never done is making me all sorts of jittery."

Ah, that was something I understood. "Yeah, I almost broke down the first time I auditioned for a part, back in sixth grade. And I was auditioning with Davy, so you'd figure I'd have…been…fine…" I trailed off. _'Shit. Please don't ask me about Davy.'_

Al looked at me curiously. "Who's Davy?"

'_Of course.'_ "Oh, no one. He doesn't go here anymore," I brushed it off, sitting down next to Envy as Al took a seat next to Ed, who was behind Envy.

Envy looked at me curiously. "Who doesn't go here anymore?"

"Davy," I told him, my jaw tight, give him a hard look. I saw both Mira and Wrath look at me, probably trying to prepare in case I freaked out.

"Oh," was all Envy said, scratching his head and looking between me and Al.

The awkward moment was broken when our music teacher called out, "Mira Hinder! Russel Fletcher!"

Al's POV

Well that was interesting to say the least. I watched Lane watching Ed and Mira, but it was almost as though she were forcing herself to focus on them.

I really hoped I didn't upset her, but I wasn't going to pry into her private life.

Wrath's POV

I sat in the seat behind Ed's and poked him in the back of the head. Probably harder than necessary, "Hey, Ed."

He turned to look at me and I flicked him on the nose really hard, "Ow! What the hell, Wrath!"

I glared at him, "You better listen and listen good, Elric."

He froze and stared at me like I was crazy, "What did you sa—"

"Shut it," I spat, "Listen. If you hurt or make a move on Mira in any way, I will castrate you in your sleep. With a rustly spoon. You got it?"

Ed's eyes widened and he nodded.

"Good," I pulled his stupid braid and walked over to Mira as she exited the stage.

…

Mira's POV

I walked, hand-in-hand with Wrath back over to the group and was totally unaware that Russell was following until he caught my shoulder. I turned to him and he took my hand in his, "You performance was quite wonderful, ma jolie dame," he winked at me, "You are quite merveilleux,"

Did my brains just melt? Yeah. I think so.

"Uhh…Thanks," I blushed and looked down at my shoes, "When did you learn to speak French?" I tried to divert the conversation away from myself.

"My father taught it to me and my brother," he let go of my hand and I let it drop to my side.

"That's cool. I would definitely like to know French," I sound like a robot. Someone save me!

"Listen up students!"

Thank you, Mrs. Aarons!

"I've decided and my final choices are: Juliet – Lane Render…"

I heard Lane jumping up and down but not screaming, because screaming and jumping is way more rude than just jumping.

"…Juliet's Nurse – Mira Hinder,"

I smiled at Lane and mouthed 'congrats.'

"…Romeo – Alphonse Elric."

There was a moment of silence while Russell stared directly at Al, turned, and walked away.

"Ohmygosh! Congrats, Al!" Lane squealed and threw her arms around his neck.

"Thanks…" Al said, looking completely shell-shocked.

"Way to be, Al!" Envy punched him in the arm.

I grinned at him, "See, Al? I told you, you'd do fine."

As we left the auditorium, Lane walked ahead with Al, rambling at him about who knows what. Wrath was skipping along behind them, and Ed seemed determined to keep at least three paces between himself and Wrath. I hung back pulling Envy back with me. "Hey Envy, Al dropped the Davy thing, right?"

"Yeah," Envy told me. "Do you think she'd be so chipper if he hadn't?"

I sighed. "Good, I doubt she's ready for that conversation."

From ahead Lane turned and called to Envy, "So Greed's driving us all, right?"

"Yep!" he called up to her. He proceeded to pull his phone out and text rapidly.

"You didn't ask him, did you?"

"Nope."

Ed's POV

**Later; At Envy's House**

And this is why I have never owned a gun. We got in a car with Envy's brother _Greed_, who Envy proceeded to have a profanity-filled argument with. We then arrived at his house, where a fat twenty something who is apparently _Gluttony_ opens the door. Slightly less creepy then the original, not completely _retarded_ but still…what the fuck.

And when we go into Envy's room and close the door and Envy proceeds to blast some music that I can't make head or tail of, an approximately eighteen-year-old Lust walks in wearing a shirt cut so low it could hardly be called a shirt and jeans so tight they probably cut off her circulation and proceeded to argue with him for ten minutes.

I'm not sure who would have died, but I definitely would have shot someone.

I should have anticipated this but it was still extremely odd.

"Alright, Ed! Time to learn about reprocution!" Mira said with a determined look on her face.

Everyone in the room stared at her. Envy and Lane proceeded to burst into hysterical laughter.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!" She blushed.

She pulled out her book and plopped on the floor, leaning back against Envy's bed. I positioned myself next to her. She took a deep breath and opened the book. We both shuddered when she reached the first page of the chapter.

"Are you sure you can't get through this unit on your own?" I asked. "I promise to help you with everything else for the rest of your highschool career."

She glared at me. "Shuddup. I need to get like practically a hundred on this crap to bring my grade up so Mr. Mustang doesn't murder me. Or worse, kick me out."

"She really needs to sort out her priorities," Lane and Envy said in unison before looking at each other and laughing hysterically at something I was missing.

"Ugh, they're quoting Harry Potter. That's only one level above terribly embarrassing sexual jokes on the list of awful _things they do," Mira grumbled. "Let's start."_

Five minutes in and all of a sudden I hear a loud,_ "Gentlemen!" _And then some …interesting…music.

"_Gentlemen__  
__screwing in moderation__  
__screwing is such a bore__  
__none of my time is wasted__  
__I do that shit on tour__."_

"What the fuck?" I looked at Mira as some.

"Aw shit, not this band. This is going to be terrible. They've got this type of music going," Mira groaned, before pointing at a word in the book, "How do you pronounce that and what the fuck does it mean."

I tried to tell her as my ears were blasted with:

"_I wanna make some babies__  
__I wanna get it on__  
__I wanna make you horny__  
__but I can't get it up__  
__I wanna make some money__  
__but I don't want no job__  
__I wanna make you horny__  
__but I can't get it up."_

"TURN IT OFF!" Mira shouted at Envy.

"Turn it up!" Lane grinned. "You hear that Envy, she wants you to turn it up!"

Mira groaned again, "I'm going to learn absolutely nothing about the penis, am I?"

"Probably not," I told her.

This music continued, the most memorable parts being:

"_Uh, geez, heh, I've never had this problem before__  
__It's just uh...__  
__Hold on a second.__  
__Give it a minute. Give it a minute__  
__All right, just give it a minute__  
__Uh, do something sexy!__  
__I don't care, do something sexy__  
__just, whatever you do__  
__don't talk about your fucking boyfriend while we're having sex! How 'bout that?"_

And:

"_It's 3 a.m. - she won't put out__  
__Lets go make out with her friends__  
__Make out with her friends' friends."_

From the same song:

"_Excuse me, do you want to screw? __  
__I'm so amazing in the sack__  
__Yes, I'm so amazing in the sack."__  
_

And who could _forget_:

"_Pulled up at a stop light did drugs on the dashboard__  
__Look at the mess we made tonight_

_Kick off your stilettos__  
__Kick off your stilettos__  
__And fuck me in the backseat__  
__Fuck me in the backseat,"__  
_  
and,

"_No jkjkjk lololol__  
__I heart your fucking makeup__  
__Oh my god I love your hair__  
__Is that a new tattoo?__  
__Did that piercing fucking hurt?__  
__No jkjkjk lololol."_

This did not stop until Dante, who looked like Lira, came in and told Envv to shut it off asking us all if we wanted to stay for dinner. Envy told her we would be before I could get myself the fuck out of there.

And we got to meet Sloth's boyfriend.

…

Mira's POV

I couldn't look Ed in the eyes. I just couldn't. It was too much. I swore on my life that one day I was going to make a something—I didn't quite know what—hell for the two of them one day.

We all trooped into the kitchen area and were greeted by a great amount of noise.

"Hey kids!" Sloth smiled at us, "Meet my new boyfriend!"

I looked up at the extremely tall and very muscular looking blonde man that Sloth was holding hands with, "Hi there," I chorused with everyone. Except Ed and Al, they stayed quiet.

"My name's Hoenheim. Nice to meet you."

Al's POV

I looked to Ed for some help as to what I was supposed to do, but he was just standing there with a blank look on his face. The only evidence of what he was actually feeling was in his hands, which were clenched into fists.

We all introduced ourselves and got right down to dinner.

…

Give me a chance to explain everything here, okay? We had a total of thirteen people crowded around one dining room table that normally sat about eight. The table was rectangular and at the "head" of the table was Dante. To her right sat Pride. Then on the side opposite of me sat Greed, then Envy, then Wrath, then Lust, and then Gluttony. At the "head" opposite of Dante sat Mo—Sloth and Da—Hoenheim. Ed sat next to him on my side of the table with Mira next to him. I sat next to her and Lane, with her legs literally on top of mine, sat on the corner beside me.

Needless to say it was also loud. Dante was about the only quiet one here. Pride was talking to Greed about students bringing illegal stuff to school. Greed was laughing. Envy and Lust were arguing over Wrath's head about something strange like underwear. I didn't want to know. Wrath was trying to get them to calm down and eat at the same time. Gluttony was hungrily chomping down on his dinner, which I also ignored. Sloth and Hoenheim were speaking softly to one another and smiling. I blushed at watching my parents' look-alikes interact and moved my eyes on. Ed and Mira were squished close together and I could see Mira's textbook open across both their laps. I guess they were trying to study without being tortured. Lane was eating and yelling across the table at Envy, egging him on.

I turned to Dante and said something that made the entire table fall completely silent, "So, what do you do for work Ms. Sin?" I wanted to know how she was able to _feed_ this many people.

Dante finished chewing her food, elongating the silence, and dabbed her mouth with a napkin, "I'm the president of Ouroboros Incorporated."

Ed and I exchanged a glance at the word, "…really?" we said in unision.

Dante sipped her water and nodded, "Yes. We specialize in magic."

"…magic?" my brother and I said together.

"Yes."

I wasn't entirely certain of what to say. Then everyone but Dante, Ed, and I started laughing incredibly loudly.

Mira spoke through giggles, "What she means is Botox. You know. The stuff that "magically" makes you look younger."

Lane nodded and laughed, "It's pretty damn magical alright. Gives you "immortality.""

Oh. Magic. Immortality. Botox. Looking younger.

I looked at my brother, but he was shaking his head and looking down at his lap. Someone pinch me?

* * *

_Lane – Damn this shit is long._

_Envy – Just like my-_

_Ed – I'm begging you, don't say it._

_Envy – Aw, that's no fun._

_Al - -sigh- The songs used in this don't belong to Lane or Mira, they are Issues and Get It Up by Mindless Self Indulgence and Fer Sure by the Medic Droid._

_Mira – Yessir! That's it, so R & R_


	6. Chapter 6

_Mira: Merry Christmas!_

_Ed: It's not Christmas._

_Mira: Don't be a scrooge Ed!_

_Lane: Yeah get into the spirit of the season that's already passed!_

_Envy: Can't wait to get you under the mistletoe, baby._

_Lane: -sticks tongue out at Envy-_

_Al: Alriiight…Mira and Lane do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

_

MAD Academy

A Collaborative Project by:

Mira Hinder and Lane Render

A Fullmetal Alchemist

Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime

Mira's POV

**Christmas Day: Mira's House**

I heard a knocking at the door over the music and conversation and wove through the clusters of people to the front of my house. When I'd finally reached the door I flung it open, letting a cold draft float into the house. Ed stepped through the doorway with Al and beat the snow off his shoes. It wasn't snowing right now. But it had been a few hours ago, "Hey Mira."

"Hi Mira," Al smiled and I noticed his cheeks and nose were tinged red from the cold.

"Hey guys. Merry Christmas," I took their jackets and gloves into my arms and ran off to dump them onto my bed with the rest of them.

Yes. I was the busy little hostess (actually co-hostess, but Lane was doing things elsewhere) of the Christmas party this year.

I spun around to go back to the party and maybe relax for a second and almost knocked Ed over. He steadied me and looked me up and down, "What are you wearing exactly?"

I looked down at the white-trimmed red dress that Lane had brought me for the occasion. The skirt was very short and the neckline hung off the sides of my shoulders. The sleeves widened at the ends so it looked like bells. I had a Santa hat on my head and a black belt was secured under my chest, "Uhh…Lane got it for me."

"Oh. That explains it," I pulled him out of my room as he spoke. We didn't need people thinking unnecessary things did we?

"Yeah. It's a bit over the top. You should see hers," I made my way into the living room, dragging him behind me. As soon as I sat down on the couch, the doorbell rang, "Ugh!" I stood up again, "Food's in the kitchen. You know where the bathroom is. I'll be right back. Hopefully…" I mumbled as I made my way back to the door.

Lane's POV

When I saw Al enter the living room I skipped over to him, dodging people on my way. "Heya, Al!" I chirped, smiling brightly.

"Oh, hi…uh Lane? What are you wearing?" he asked, staring at me.

"Oh this? I think it's cute don't you?" I spun around, laughing at the bells jingling.

"Uh yeah Lane. It looks nice."

'_Well that sounded sincere, but what can I expect from Al?'_ I laughed. "I'm sorry if my elf outfit has tramatized you, Al."

"Hey, I'm not that easily traumatized, you know."

"Sure you're not."

"Hey guys!" I heard Envy call. I immediately jumped and checked over my head for mistletoe. There was none near where I stood. Envy laughed at me as he approached. "Getting jumpy, Lane? I'm going to get you this year."

"Not gonna let you!" I told him, sticking my tongue out.

"What are you guys going on about?" Al asked us curiously.

"Well every year Envy tries to catch me under the mistletoe, 'cause, you know, if your under the mistletoe you've gotta kiss, and it always turn into…and adventure," I responded, beginning to lead the boys to the couch in the living room. "C'mon, let me tell you about the past years. Give ya some warning."

Ed's POV

I almost stopped Mira from walking away to answer the door. Instead I took a look around to see if I could find a familiar face. I spotted Lane talking to Envy and Al. She was dressed as what I assume a Christmas elf would look like if she wanted to pick up guys. The tight green dress was adorned with little gold bells and so was her hat. She had a thin belt at her waist and her boots came up to her knees.

I decided not to interrupt their conversation and focused on the Christmas tree. The thing was covered in lights and handmade ornaments. Worse, there were so many presents under the tree. It was quite intimidating. I grasped the small box in my pants pocket and placed it on top of an enormous box covered in bright red paper.

I turned and left it there.

Mira's POV

I flung open the door once again and was greeted by Russell, "Merry Christmas, jolie dame. How do you fair this evening?"

"Great, thank you," I smiled shyly at him, "And Merry Christmas to you, too," I nodded at Russell and his younger brother Fletcher.

"Merry Christmas!" Fletcher grinned up at me and then ran right past me towards Wrath.

"May I take your coat?" I shut the door behind Russell and held out my hand to him.

"That would be rude of me," he took his little brother's coat and turned to me, "Just show me where to put them."

I lead him into my room and he dumped the coats into the pile, "Did I mention you looked très beau tonight, Mira?"

I giggled, "Does that mean what I think it does?"

"It means 'very beautiful'."

"Then no, you hadn't mentioned that until now," I blushed and led him into the living room.

"Well, it's true," he stated simply.

I heard my cell phone start ringing from inside my bra, "If you'd excuse me," I waved to him and walked to the door.

Ed's POV

I watched Mira walk outside while pulling her phone out of her bra. No! I wasn't staring. She just wasn't making it inconspicuous enough.

Well, that was my first thought. My second was that small dress she was wearing and how cold it was outside.

I frowned and said to myself, "I'm really starting to believe she doesn't think before she acts."

Mira's POV

I folded the arm that wasn't holding my phone against my body and shivered. Yeah. Very smart Mira. No jacket. I shivered. Dammit girl. You're such a spacey idiot.

"So how's the party going?"

"Jacob. If you ask me that one more time me and Lane are going to make you sleep on the couch tonight."

"That's no fair!" he whined, then returned to his normal voice, "I just want to make sure none of the boys are getting too…rowdy you know?"

I heard Lane give an extremely loud "WHOOO!" from inside the house and then the music blared. A bunch of other girls returned with a chorus of, "WHOOO!"s of their own.

"The boys are definitely not rowdy," I assured him. At least compared the girls…

I shivered again.

"Could you be any more crazy?" came a voice from behind me. I felt a coat wrap itself around my shoulders and Ed came to stand beside me, "It's way too cold outside."

"Who's that?" my brother sounded panicked through the phone, "That sounded like a boy! And you sound alone! Miiiiraaaa!"

"Brother I have to go tend to the party. Maybe if you didn't assume I was making love to random men you wouldn't have to sleep on the couch," face flushed red, I flipped my phone shut.

"Um..?" Ed looked at me.

"My brother. Please don't ask," I pulled Ed's coat around me from the inside and shivered.

"We should get inside the house before you die of hypothermia," I assumed that was him trying to be endearing and I turned towards the door.

Just then it started snowing.

I looked up at the sky and felt a snowflake land on my nose. I love snow. It's so peacef—

"WHOOO!"

Yeah I should get back to the party…

"C'mon!" Ed held the door open for me and I ran inside.

Envy's POV

"Uh, your attention please, your attention please. Missy's and Mister's shuddup and look at me!" I called, standing up on the couch. Some people quieted, but most everyone ignore me. I looked to Lane. "A little help?"

Lane stood on the couch next to me and shouted, "AND ALL THE GIRLS CALL WHOOOO!"

All the girls stopped and looked at Lane grinning, before responding with a "WHOOOOO!" of their own.

"Alright boys and girls I've got a special little present for someone in this room and they will know who they are immediately," I called out. I saw Lane look at me curiously. "Dustin! Put the disc in!" I called to one of my random junior buddies. He shut off the normal music and slipped a disc in.

"Everyone ready!" A room full of blank faces stared at me as I walked toward the sound system and plugged one of Mira's karaoke microphones into an amp. "Test one, two, test one two." I winked at Lane, "Lane girly?"

"And if you're ready for whatever Envy's planned call WHOOOOOO!"

Everyone in the room called back "WHOOOO!"

The soft piano music of the disc started. I may not be a prodigy, but I could sing when the time called for it.

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas._

_There is just one thing I need._

_I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree._

_I just want you for my own._

_More than you could ever know._

_Make my wish come true._

_Baby all I want for Christmas is you."_

I drew out the last note, pointing at Lane and winking. Her face turned tomato red and she head/palmed.

Tinkling piano music followed before a "crash, crash, crash" on the drums and a start up of some _real_ music, guitar and everything. I had ripped the vocals from the My Chemical Romance version of the song, and was left with some awesome music to work with. Thank Pride for the awesome equipment they had at school.

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need__  
__And I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree__  
__I don't need to hang my stocking way above the fireplace__  
__Santa Clause won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day__  
__And I just want you for my own__  
__More than you could ever know__  
__Make my wish come true__  
__Oh baby all I want for Christmas is you, you baby_."

I gestured to Lane to come over. She blushed and shook her head as I continued singing.

"_I won't ask for much this Christmas__  
__I won't even wish, I won't even wish for snow.__  
__I'm just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe."_

I grinned at that line and gestured to her again. To my surprise Al gave her a little nudge in my direction. She squeeked before blushing and turning to him. He shrugged.

"_I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for St Nick__  
__Won't even stay awake to hear the magic reindeer play_."

She gave in as I began to sing the chorus again. She stood in front of the room with me, dancing along with me to the tune of the music. We finished off the rest of the song, Lane belting out the last chorus with me. When the music ended, everyone clapped and Lane hugged me, breathless. "Thanks Envy. That was cute." She grinned and tapped me on the nose.

"Cute is what I aim for," I responded, grinning.

"More random band references?"

"Yep!" we were heading toward Ed and Mira who were standing back in the entrance to Mira's home with snow in their hair. I saw Al get up from the couch and head toward where we were going.

Lane and I stood under the archway between the entrance, foyer, whatever it was, and the living room.

"Best Christmas song I've heard so far," Ed told me, grinning. "It was loud."

Mira rolled her eyes. "Boys."

Lane and I laughed. I glanced up.

Mistletoe.

Al's POV

I followed Envy's gaze up to the archway and realized I was standing next to Mira. I took a step back and made this face at Lane, which I hope looked like a warning to run.

She didn't even get a chance to look at me before Envy turned her face towards his with his hand and pointed upward, "Gotcha!"

Lane looked up and swore very loudly.

Envy ignored her and leaned in to steal the kiss of the night.

I respectfully looked away, as did Ed. Mira had other ideas though. I saw a bright flash of light out of the corner of my eye and noticed that she had a camera in her hand, "Finally Envy! GET SOME!" she laughed evilly and hid her camera behind her back.

It's not like they were going to take it or anything. They seemed to be wrapped up in kissing each other.

That is, until Envy's pals came over and crowded around chanting, "Get some! Get some! Get some!"

Lane turned threateningly towards the boys. "Dustin, Jeremiah, Nicholas," she addressed them. "Run." The three of them turned on a heel and ran into the crowd of people. Lane made a motion to follow them, but Envy grabbed her arm, pulling her back and wrapping his arms around her in such a way that her arms were trapped at her sides.

"No you don't, babe. Don't go killing anyone."

"Awwww," Mira cooed.

"I'll kill you, too," Lane threatened.

"Shutting up."

…

Mira's POV

I picked up the last bit of trash on the part of my house I was assigned to clean. No need for my brother to have a fit over a dirty house _and_ the several teenage boys that had attended the party.

I checked my phone and saw it was midnight. Envy must have seen it too.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS BITCHES!"

He and Lane made a mad dash for the Christmas tree. I moved out of their way as fast as I could and they literally dove into the pile, throwing boxes into piles according to the person they were for.

I laughed and stood away from them, glad they weren't sucking face anymore. I mean, first couple minutes were cute. But after that…

Ed and Al came to stand beside me, while Wrath ran forward with a huge grin on his face to join Envy and Wrath.

"So you guys want cookies?" I laughed.

…

I pulled the tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and started transferring them to a plate. Ed watched like he was ready for me to drop something. Not too strange of a notion. I _was_ a klutz.

"Hey Mira?"

"Yes Ed?"

He paused and I looked at him. I guess he wasn't expecting it because he had his eyes focused onto my ass, "Edward. My eyes are not plastered to my butt. That would make it awkward to sit."

He flushed red, "Sorry! I didn't me—I jus—I was noticing how nice those jeans look on you…"

I blushed; glad Lane had allowed me to change back into normal clothing, "Thanks…"

"I'm really sorry."

"Ed, I used to deal with Envy all the time," I smiled up at him, "He never apologized. You're fine."

He smirked.

"MiraEdMiraEdMiraEd!" Lane and Envy chorused, "Getinherewewanttoopenpresents!"

Ed's POV

Mira and I went back into the living room and sat on the floor.

"Finally!" Envy sighed. The guy has _not_ stopped smiling since we pried him off of Lane. He went to reach for a box in his pile but Lane slapped his hand.

"Mira should go first," Lane tossed her a small box that I recognized. Lane winked at me knowingly, "This one doesn't have a tag on it."

"Then how do you know it's mine?" she asked, catching it in both hands.

"Oh it's just a hunch," she smiled innocently at her.

Dammit. I thought I wouldn't be here for this.

Mira ripped off the paper and looked inside the box, "How pretty!" she lifted the necklace out and help it out for lane to see. At the end of the chain was a little microphone-shaped pendant. "Who got it?"

"Uh…that would be me," I muttered, feeling uncomfortable.

"Thanks, it's awesome," she said, giving me a hug.

"Alright! Everyone else open whatever Ed got you!" Lane called out. Everyone searched through their individual pile, opening their present.

"AWESHUM! I needed a new sketchpad, thanks Ed!" Lane said.

"EARMUFFS!" was all I heard from Wrath. Damn, hadn't expected him to be that excited by them.

"Funny Ed," Envy said, pulling a box of condoms and a cucumber out of a gift bag. Then he got a look that disturbed me a bit. "Lane, we're having fun tonight."

"Oh hell no," Lane said, staring at the vegetable.

"Sorry Lane, hadn't anticipated that," I told the blonde girl.

"Aw brother didn't you get me anything?"Al fake-pouted at me.

I rolled my eyes and quoted some god-awful movie that Lane and Mira had forced us to watch. "You're a real boy now. Congrats."

"No fair."

I sighed. I was gonna give it to you at home but since you're such a brat," I handed him his present, "you can have it now."

Al unwrapped it and the silver pocket watch dropped into his lap, "B-brother…" his mouth moved like he was trying to say something, but nothing came out.

I grinned, "You're welcome."

Lane's POV

They were having a cute sibling moment. I could _tell_. I'd seen that stuff before. I chose to distract them before they got too wrapped up in it. "Alright guys, open what I got you!" I cheered, bouncing up and down in my seat in between Al and Envy.

Everyone reached into their piles.

Wrath managed to get the wrapping paper off first. "AWESOME!" he cheered.

"Lane, are you trying to give him diabetes?" Envy asked, peering at the five pounds of candy sitting in Wrath's lap.

"Oh he'll be fine," I waved it off. He went to opening his present.

"Oh these are sooo hot," Envy grinned, holding up a pair of Mario boxers.

"You know it," I responded.

"HOOZAH! I _always_ need more karaoke CDs," Mira said. "Thanks!"

"What is this?" Ed said, looking at the box he had unwrapped.

"It's a jar that captures sunlight and then lights up at night."

"How the fuck does that work?"

I shrugged. "No clue."

"What is it with you people and you're lack of love for me," Al joked, having found nothing in his pile.

"Oh hush I didn't put it under the tree 'cause I was scared someone would ruin it," I told him, standing up and heading towards Mira's room calling , "I drew you something biiiiig!"

I heard down the hallway, "Just like my-"

"Don't Envy!" Ed cut him off.

"Penis!" Mira shouted.

"Dammit," Ed swore, as I walked back in, having acquired Al's present from the room.

"Here," I handed it to Al, "I did my best, this is how I imagine it from those few times we convinced you and Ed to tell us the stories that got you in the school."

"Wow Lane, this is…really…amazing," Al told me, staring at the huge as picture of a suit of armor.

"Good," I said with relief. "I mean, thank you. I have never drawn armor before."

Ed peaked over at the drawing. "Damn that's like perfect."

Envy called out, "Yeah Lane's wonderful. Now let's all open what I got you!"

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to him.

Envy's POV

Mira peeked in her bag, said, "You got this from Lust, didn't you?" and then refused to let anyone see it. Which was no fun.

Wrath had a shirt that said "World's Most Annoying Brother," on it. He stuck his tongue out at me, but grinned.

"And you were mad at me," Ed stated, pulling out a bottle of lube. "Unlike you, I can't actually make any use of this."

I shrugged. "That's what you think."

He shook his head at me.

"Envy?"

I looked over at Al.

"Yeah?"

"Why?" He pulled out cat ears, booty shorts with a cat tail attached, paw gloves and paw slippers.

"Envy," Ed growled.

"Oops…that was supposed to be Lane's," I told them.

"Does that make this Al's?" Lane asked, pulling out a very lacy bright pink bra.

"Nope, got you both!"

Lane shifted through her pile, before pulling something out. "Then maybe you mixed this up with his," she handed Al a present.

He opened it.

"Yup, that's it!" I said as he pulled out a white yarn hat with a tassle on each side, a poof on top, and pink stripes.

"It's beautiful, Envy," Al told me.

"Be sure to where it every day."

"I will."

Mira's POV

I giggled at Al and reached over to put the hat on his head. Everyone laughed, including Al.

"Open my presents now!" Wrath shouted, pumping his fists in the air.

Envy unwrapped a stack of magazines, "Bro. How the hell did you buy these? You look eleven."

"Oh I didn't buy them," Wrath smiled.

Lane looked over Envy's shoulder at the magazines, "Wrath, honey. Where did you get these?"

Wrath laughed, "From under Greed's bed."

Envy's eyes got wide and then he started laughing, "Kid you have balls."

Lane opened her present next, "Awww. How cute," she pulled out a top hat with rabbit ears sticking off of the top. She jammed it on her head and grinned. I laughed.

Al and Ed both unwrapped a DVD. I guess ever since they heard about the fact that they've never seen a classic Disney film, Wrath seemed to feel the need to educate them on movies, "Thanks Wrath," they chorused.

I ripped the paper off of something that looked like a plain diary. I opened it up and inside were blank pages of sheet music, "Oh Wrath honey it's wonderful," I rumpled his hair.

Everyone looked to me expectantly, "They're in my closet guys. Just one second."

Ed's POV

I watched her run out of the room and thought about how much of the story I actually told her. Just about all of it. Even some of the stuff _before_ the accident. It was only natural that she shared this with the others.

What scared me is Lane's ability to draw Al's armor so incredibly well…

"Ed, you can stop looking," Envy snickered, "Her ass is already out of sight."

"Shut it, palm tree," I threw the bottle of lube he got me at him.

"Sorry guys. I was so busy baking and cooking I didn't have time to wrap them really well," Mira appeared back in the room and started handing people their respective presents.

Envy held up a pair of black lacey woman's underwear, "Mira. This is far too small for my huge p—"

"Would you stop making penis references?" I shouted.

"You said it, not me!"

Lane ripped the paper off her present in the most obnoxious way possible to get us to shut up, "Thanks Mira!" she stood up and donned a black trench coat and fedora, "It's so cool!"

"Welcome," Mira grinned.

Wrath opened his present to find a collection of different armbands, "Mira I love you!"

She giggled, "I love you too, Wrath honey."

Al pulled out a Red jacket with a black design on the back, "Mira this is awesome!" it was our teacher's symbol. The one I have on the back of my red jacket.

"Did I get the design right?"

"Of course!" he gave her this huge grin.

I'm still not too sure how I feel about them knowing… It was getting creepy.

"Ed whatcha waitin' for?" Lane poked me on the top of the head, "Open yours."

I ripped the paper and a notebook and a pair of white gloves.

Gloves. Of course. The transmutation circles were so perfect, too.

"I wanted to see you write more stories. So I got you a notebook," Mira smiled, "Your stories are wonderful."

I blushed and picked up the leather-bound book, "Thanks," I paused for a second and then out of pure impulse I hugged her.

Al's POV

I waited for the two of them to stop hugging (let it be known that this was the second time this night they've done so) and then smiled, "Everyone open mine!"

Lane excitedly ripped off the paper on her gift. The look on her face made me think she was going to have a heart attack, "Oh my god…"

I got worried for a minute. I was so sure she'd like it. Then:

"AAAAH! I LOVE YOU ALPHONSE!" she nearly knocked me over hugging me, the paint set still clutched in her hands.

Mira giggled and opened her present, "Alphonse you're so amazing!" she hugged the piano music books to her chest.

Envy pulled out a black headband with a triangle on it, "Cool!" he shoved it over his hair.

Ed put his head in his hands and mumbled something like, "Why, Al? Why?"

"It fits?" I asked, ignoring my brother. Ed looked like he wanted to slam his head into the wall.

Wrath cheered, "SCARF!" when he opened his present. I'd gotten it to match the earmuffs Ed gave him. He was so happy it was funny.

Ed picked up his gift and unwrapped it then looked at me and said sarcastically, "Thank you, my wonderful baby brother. You are so thoughtful."

I laughed and he set the gallon of milk on the ground as far away from him as possible.

…

I pulled Ed to the side as everyone set up the living room for a movie, "Hey brother, thanks again. I ju—"

His face turned red and he grumbled, "Shut up…"

"I would have gotten you something serious," I insisted.

"No. you don't ever have to get me anything," he then hugged me.

And as out of character as that is, I was pretty happy.

_

* * *

Envy: Told you. –grins-_

_Lane: Oh shuddup! –smile-_

_Mira: -laughs- R&R guys!_

_Ed & Al: …_


	7. Chapter 7

_Mira: Welcome to another installment of MAD Academy!_

_Lane: Today is our Ed's wonderful birthday!_

_Envy: Of course you don't know the EXACT date so…_

_Mira& Lane: SHH!_

_Ed: Mira and Lane do not own Fullmetal Alchemist._

_Al: I'm really starting to like you guys. Haha._

* * *

MAD Academy

A Collaborative Project by:

Mira Hinder and Lane Render

A Fullmetal Alchemist

Crack / Alternate Universe Fanime

Mira's POV

**Ed's Birthday: The Elric's House**

Al let us into the house when we knocked, "Brother's still asleep…"

"Well that won't do!" Lane pointed a finger in the air in a triumphant way, "Mira go wake him up."

"Why do I always have to do your dirty work?" I complained, half-jokingly.

She pushed me forwards into the house and I tripped all over myself, nearly falling over the arm of the couch where Ed lay sleeping. I peered at his sleeping form; his hair, un-tucked from his usual braid was piled into disarray around his head and he was snoring softly, "H-Hey Alphonse?" I caught his little brother's eyes.

"Yeah?" Al, unlike Ed, was showered and dressed.

"Does he always sleep with his stomach out?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "Old habits I think."

I looked back to Ed. It felt just pain wrong to even consider waking him up. He slept like a baby.

…

So instead I started cooking food.

It was pretty early in the morning, so I wasn't surprised that I soon had a little crowd at the table in the kitchen. I looked over at the four of them and just laughed, "Hungry much?"

They all nodded in unison and grinned at me.

Ed's POV

I woke to the smell of bacon. Great way to start my morning. Food.

I smiled to myself and stretched before sitting up, loving the way I could finally feel _all_ the muscles in my body again. Don't get me wrong. Automail was cool and all, but being able to feel with all four of my limbs just feels so much better.

I scratched the back of my head and made my way into the kitchen in just boxers and a tee shirt, like always.

"Brother, go put on some pants," Al told me as Lane and Mira both took one look at me and started giggling.

I immediately ran to my room to find a pair of pants.

…

Lane's POV

We all sat around the Elrics' kitchen table stuffing our faces with the massive amount of food that Mira and I had cooked up (she had started the cooking but of course I joined in.) I had hardly any patience with cooking when I was hungry.

"So," Ed started, and everyone looked up from their plates, "Why are you guys even here?"

"Whaaaa-?" I half-shouted, "Are you serious Ed? It's your birthday! What would a birthday be without you're friends invading your house really early in the morning."

"Oh," he blinked. "I forgot."

"WHHAAA-?" Wrath and I chorused. "YOU FORGOT YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY!"

"Um, yeah? Relax, would you?"

"I can't!" I shouted. "You forgot you're birthday! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR FUN TIMES!"

He leaned over to Mira and I heard him mutter, "Should I be afraid?"

"THAT"S IT! WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE AND PLAYING IN THE SNOW LIKE WE'RE FIVE AND YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY IT DAMMIT BECAUSE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

"She get's hyper when she gets up early," Mira told him.

"Al! Ed!"

"YES!" they both shouted in unison, looking slightly afraid.

"Prepare yourselves! Get dressed!"

"Yes ma'am!" They both ran off down the hallway.

"Wear your new hat Al!" Envy called down the hallway.

"Of course!" I heard Al call back.

…

Ed's POV

I stepped into the front yard and blocked my eyes from the blinding reflection of the snow. Mira, Lane, Envy, and Wrath were already outside. Al ran past me and jumped off of our front steps, laughing like a little kid.

I realized that it's been forever since he's been able to see snow in his normal body. He must be really happy.

I was too busy smiling to myself to see the snowball before it hit my face, "ENVY!" I shouted.

"This time it wasn't me!" he pointed over at Mira, who had a snowball in each hand, grinning from ear to ear.

I just stared at her for a second then grinned, "It's so on, Hinder!"

"Come and get it, Elric!"

I jumped off the steps and scooped up some snow in my hands. I threw it and Lane, because she's her, managed to walk right in front of Mira and receive a snowball in the face.

"EDWARD!" Lane grabbed a hunk of snow and chucked it at me. Her aim was off to the left and it smacked Al in the chest.

"Brother, I think it's time for war," Al said calmly beside me.

"I agree."

Lane and Mira look terrified when we turned to them, armed with snow.

"I'm on their side!" Envy called to the girl, running to us.

Lane shouted, "You traitor!" while Mira quickly grabbed Wrath and held him possessively.

Lane's POV

Mira and I ended up standing in front of Wrath as human shields as he built our fort. But it was worth it, because Wrath made awesome forts quickly. I got too nitpicky about them when I made them and Mira just kinda…sucked.

Envy was on the same mission on the boys side. Al was huffing, little puffs of condensed breath coming from his mouth, his nose and cheeks bright red. I smacked him in the face.

Ed had a shit-eating grin as he dodged on of Mira's snowballs, hitting both of us in the stomach with snowballs of his own.

This war went on for quite a bit before Mira and I looked at each other and nodded before popping up from behind our shelter and yelling, "WE SURRENDER!"

"WIMPS!" Envy called from behind their shelter.

"IT'S COLD!"

"YOU'RE SUCH GIRLS!" Ed yelled.

"WHATEVER!" we ran inside under a torrent of snowballs from Envy and the Elrics.

"Alright!" Mira said breathlessly, pulling off her mittens. "Time to back a cake."

. . .

The house smelt delicious. And we didn't use box stuff, we made our own cake. And our own frosting. Mira handed me an icing pipe from inside her back and I set to work putting the finishing touches on the cake. Peeking up from the counter I pulled back the curtain a bit to see the boys chucking the snow at each other. Envy had gone to Wrath's team, and the two pairs of brothers were in a full out war, the sun setting behind them.

Just as I finished piping and sticking the candles in, I heard the door open. Mira got them out of their coats and shoes and ushered them into the living room. I lit each candle and shouted, "Turn off the lights!"

I walked out with the cake.

"Awesome!" Ed said, taking a look at the cake.

Self satisfied, I thought, _'Fucking right, it's awesome.'_ I had covered the whole chocolate cake in white vanilla icing, piping the little ridges around the bottom and again all around the top of the cake.

He then noticed what the red icing on top said, 'Happy Birthday, Shortie.' He shouted, "I'm not-!"

Mira and I cut him off, beginning to sing "Happy Birthday to You" and the boys followed our lead, drowning Ed out.

"Now make a wish!" Mira urged him on.

Ed's POV

What to wish for? Wishes were dumb I knew that much and I could just blow out the candles pretending I had made one, but it got me thinking. For years if I could just wish for something and have it, it would have been an obvious choice. A few months ago I would have just wished to go home with Al.

But now. I could still make a choice to just leave and not be hurt too bad. I hadn't known any of them for long enough. And the doppelganger thing was seriously creepy. But I was happy. And they made me laugh. And I could seriously see them being some seriously good friends in the long run. We could make a good life here, Al and I.

I shook off these weird thoughts as I blew out the candle and Lane handed me the knife saying, "You've gotta make the first cut! But, after that, I don't trust you with it."

. . .

I followed Mira into the kitchen after she announced she was going to make hot chocolate. Wrath shoved me out of the way and grabbed onto the back of her shirt, "Mira could I have mine first?" he tugged on her shirt and smiled sweetly up at her.

"Of course, Wrath honey," she smiled at him and filled a teapot that she found in one of the cabinets with water. I hung back by the archway that led into the kitchen while Wrath left the room and started to think of her voice. I haven't heard her sing much since that first time. I was tempted to ask her to…

She turned and sat up on the counter next to the stove. Noticing I was there, she smiled.

I tried to manage a smile back, but I obviously failed.

"Something wrong?" she beckoned for me to come closer to her.

I stepped forward, "Nah. Just thinkin'…"

"About what?" she asked.

I diverted the conversation off of my weird thought, "I guess about my wish."

"What about it?"

"I didn't make one…" I mumbled, "I was going to wish for," I paused and fixed my speech before I spilled about wanting to get Al's body back before now, "a way to get back home. But…"

"But..?" she nodded, trying to get me to speak.

"I feel like I'm starting to feel fine where I'm at."

Mira's POV

I grinned without meaning to, "Well that's good. At least you're getting comfortable with all the cra—"

"HEY MIRA! ED! QUIT MAKING BABIES IN THERE AND FINISH WITH THE HOT CHOCOLATE!"

Ed and I gave one another awkward looks. Then we turned our heads toward the living room and yelled, "SHUT UP AND GO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND ENVY!"

"WILL DO!" he cackled and I heard Lane squeak followed by a thud.

Al and Wrath came into the kitchen and sat at the table without a word.

…

Al's POV

Once we made sure Lane and Envy weren't doing anything inappropriate in the living room (a.k.a Mira went in there and threatened to hose them off if they didn't stop contaminating the couch with their love germs) we all sat on the floor around the coffee table and sipped hot chocolate.

Mira suddenly perked up like she remembered something big, "Where's your guys' dad?"

"Work," Ed answered without flinching, unlike me. I figured I looked like a deer in headlights.

"Oh," she nodded, like that made sense. Before she could ask anything else her phone rang. She jumped up and fished it out of her pocket. Not even bothering to look at the caller ID, she picked up, "Hello?" she paused for a short second, "Hey bro."

Lane and Envy smirked at one another and nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine. Hey listen do you think I cou—"

Lane moaned very loudly. I blushed.

Mira glared down at Lane, "It's nothing. As I was saying I was wo—"

Envy made a moaning sound as well.

Mira smacked him on the back of the head, "I was wondering if I could st—"

Lane and Envy both made a really inappropriate noise together and then Envy said, "Hey Mira, come back," in a very dirty tone of voice.

Mira, Ed, and I all stared open-mouthed at him.

"Nevermind…" Mira hung up the phone after a quick goodbye and went to jump on Envy, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"It wasn't just me!" he insisted, backing up and laughing really hard.

"Yeah! But she knows karate! I _know_ I can take you out easy!"

. . .

After the swift punishment of Lane and Envy, we all wandered into the living room with our hot chocolate.

"And now it's time for Ed's birthday present!" Mira cheered.

Envy and Lane come up behind the couch where Ed was sitting, picking up a huge sack together and dumping a ridiculous amount of chocolate over his head.

"Oh, I am so happy with you people right now," Ed said, grinning.

"Guys," I said, "not trying to ruin the good times or anything, but it's like midnight." I pointed toward a clock on our wall.

Lane proceeded to fake cry, "Why, are you kicking us out?" She hide her face in Envy's shoulder wailing, "He doesn't love us anymore!"

"I only meant, aren't your parents gonna get worried."

"I told mom not to expect us home. I generally tell her that whenever we go out," Envy stated.

Lane snorted. "Mother dearest doesn't give a fuck," she made a displeased face. _That_ was definitely going to be a story sometime in the future. And I had a feeling it wouldn't be a pleasant one.

"Jake probably won't care, as long as Envy and Lane don't make sex noises or shout anything about drugs when I call him again," Mira told us.

"So basically," Lane said, "we're not leaving unless you kick us out."

Brother and I shrugged at each other. "You can stay," we chorused.

"ESP, they haz it," Lane whispered loudly in Envy's ear.

We all laughed

…

Mira's POV

We all managed to find more than enough pillows and blankets to make a comfy little nest on the living room floor. Lane and Envy curled up on the right side of the nest and they were mumbling to each other quietly. Wrath was sitting next to Alphonse grinning and talking to him. Ed and I were tossing some pillows into the nest, neither of us afraid to hit Lane and Envy.

I had changed into pajamas that my brother brought for Lane and me. During which time I had to promise him I wouldn't, "do anything stupid."

"You think you can get them to calm down?" Ed looked at me like, 'if they're hyper any longer I might just shoot them.'

I giggled at his face and then nodded, "Leave it to me."

I climbed into the spot beside Al and sighed at how soft the pile of blankets had made the floor. Then I started to sing:

"_Waking up I see that everything is okay,_

_The first time in my life and now it's so great,_

_Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed,_

_I think about the little things that make life great,_

_I wouldn't change a thing about it,_

_This is the best feeling."_

Ed clicked the light off as everyone fell silent. I smiled to myself, feeling as if my voice was magical. I felt Ed come and sit next to me.

"_This innocence is brilliant,_

_I hope that it will stay,_

_This moment is perfect,_

_Please don't go away,_

_I need you now,_

_And I'll hold on to it,_

_Don't you let it pass you by…"_

I would have kept singing, if not for the yawn that escaped my lips.

Envy chuckled softly, "Someone's trying to tell us to get to bed."

"Nah. I think I almost put myself to sleep," I giggled.

There was the sound of shuffling as everyone got comfortable. I tried to not touch either of the Elrics, but it was hard. I was kinda sandwiched in between them. I kinda scooted towards Ed more. He was warmer.

"You should sing something else."

Ed's POV

I didn't exactly think before I spoke…

I heard Mira yawn from next to me, and, it seemed like she didn't even have to think about it, she started singing again:

"_Could you whisper in my ear,_

_The things you wanna feel,_

_I'd give you anythin',_

_To feel it comin'."_

Everyone was quiet again.

"_Do you wake up on your own,_

_And wonder where you are,_

_You live with all your faults."_

I could just make out the shape of everyone lying down.

"_I wanna wake up where you are,_

_I won't say anything at all,_

_So why don't you slide__…"_

She trailed off.

"Looks like someone was enchanted by Mira's voice," Envy snickered again.

I didn't offer any response.

"It's fine Ed. As you can see, none of us can help but shut up when she opens her damn mouth."

"I love you too, Lane," Mira murmured.

There was a pause. Then Lane spoke:

"…The rest of that song makes me think of my parents."

"How so?" Al asked.

She paused and then said, "There's a verse that says, 'Don't you love the like you killed? The priest is on the phone. Your father hit the wall. Your ma disowned you'…"

"Oh…"

Lane's POV

Envy held me closer to him and I sighed. I figured I should explain to the Elrics what Mira, Envy and Wrath already knew. But I didn't, "It's alright," Envy murmured into my ear.

I relaxed. Yeah. From sexual best friends to caring couple. Who knew?

Yeah. It was pretty much lights out for me after that.

Envy's POV

"She asleep Envy?" Mira asked.

I pulled the blanket up over Lane's shoulders and kissed the top of her blonde head, "Yeah I think so."

She moved her head a little on my chest and the smell of vanilla filled my nose. Such a sweet smell…

"Envy are you smelling her or something?" Mira snickered.

"Pssh. No," I chuckled at her.

"Ah!" I heard Ed stifle a yell, "Mira your feet are cold!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to!" I heard a shuffling sound as she adjusted her position.

I snickered again. What a delightfully awkward pair. Yep. Still failing English.

All of a sudden Al started snoring softly.

"Awww, we bored him to sleep," I grinned.

Mira giggled, "Wrath? You still awake?"

Silence.

"Guess not."

With that we all fell silent and I drifted off to sleep.

_

* * *

Mira: Just saying, we all know they have Elric Telepathy._

_Lane: Well duh!_

_Envy: So yeah. Me and Lane are going to use your bed tonight after you fall asleep, Shortie. –winks-_

_Ed: Oh no you're not!_

_Al: Please don't…_

_Mira: R&R people!_


End file.
